Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 146565	2018-09-10 10:41:00	Monday Laughs - please contribute	Roscoe (6288)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1453463	2018-09-10 10:41:00	To be sure..... its Irish The reason there are so many Irish jokes is because the Irish have a quaint way with words. Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the surgery waiting room. "I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I'd hate to feel like this if I was well!" Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a holiday in the tropics. He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects. "He's got a great tan," Mrs Doolan from next door mused. "The holiday did him the world of good." "And he looks so calm and serene," said Mrs McGuiness. "That's because he died in his sleep." explained Mrs Murphy, "and he doesn't know he's dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!" "Your glass is empty O'Flaherty, will you be having another?" "And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?" replied O'Flaherty.	Roscoe (6288)
1453464	2018-09-10 21:24:00	Have you met the family of Vincent van Gogh? His dizzy aunt -------------------- Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes--------------- Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store --- Stop N Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia -------------- U Gogh His magician uncle ------------ Where-diddy Gogh His Mexican cousin ----------------- A Mee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half-brother -------- Gring Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach -------- Wells-far Gogh The constipated uncle ----------- Can't Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt --------------- Tang Gogh The bird lover uncle -------------- Flamin Gogh The fruit loving cousin ------------- Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking ----------- Way-to-Gogh The little bouncy nephew ------------ Poe Gogh A sister who loved disco ------ Go Gogh And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh I saw you smiling ....... there ya Gogh!	smithie 38 (6684)
1453465	2018-09-11 01:03:00	Have you met the family of Vincent van Gogh? Only works if you pronounce it as Americans do. British and Dutch are two more variations which don't make the jokes work...	user (1404)
1453466	2018-09-11 01:18:00	Hey man, it's a joke... :) :) Ken	kenj (9738)
1453467	2018-09-11 02:24:00	Really? Well I never...	user (1404)
1453468	2018-09-13 07:24:00	An old physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic . He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr . Geezer's clinic . Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000 . " Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000 . So he went to Dr . Geezer's clinic . Dr . Young: "Dr . Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth . Can you please help me?" Dr . Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr . Young's mouth . " Dr . Young: 'Aaagh! -- This is petrol!" Dr . Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back . That will be $500 . " Dr . Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money . Dr . Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything . " Dr . Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth . " Dr . Young: "Oh, no you don't -- that's petrol!" Dr . Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back . That will be $500 . " Dr . Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days . Dr . Young: "My eyesight has become very weak, I can hardly see anything!" Dr . Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back" (giving him a $10 note) . Dr . Young: "But this is only $10!" Dr . Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500 . " *Moral of story* -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer" *Remember:* Don't make old people mad . We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off .	kenj (9738)
1453469	2018-09-13 07:45:00	How can you tell when a car salesman is lying? Their lips are moving.	piroska (17583)
1453470	2018-09-13 09:05:00	Very appropriate joke there piroska. ;( Ken	kenj (9738)
1453471	2018-09-13 12:25:00	Very appropriate joke there piroska. ;( Ken That's called an observation, not a joke. ;)	R2x1 (4628)
1453472	2018-09-20 02:12:00	How can you tell when a car salesman is lying? Their lips are moving. Applies to Politicians and Real Estate Agents.	bk T (215)
1 2