| Forum Home | ||||
| PC World Chat | ||||
| Thread ID: 146613 | 2018-10-01 07:05:00 | Monday Laughs - please contribute | Roscoe (6288) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1453948 | 2018-10-01 07:05:00 | The Irish have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously Medical Term Irish Definition Artery The study of paintings Bacteria Back door to cafeteria Barium What doctors do when patients die Benign What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section A neighbourhood in Rome Cat scan Searching for Kitty Cauterize Made eye contact with her Colic A sheep dog Coma A punctuation mark Dilate To live long Enema Not a friend Fester Quicker than someone else Fibula A small lie Impotent Distinguished, well known Labour Pain Getting hurt at work Medical Staff A Doctor's cane Morbid A higher offer Nitrates Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days Node I knew it Outpatient A person who has fainted Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis Post Operative A letter carrier Recovery Room Place to do upholstery Rectum Nearly killed him Secretion Hiding something Seizure Roman Emperor Tablet A small table Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport Tumour One plus one more Urine Opposite of you're out ... |
Roscoe (6288) | ||
| 1453949 | 2018-10-01 07:16:00 | Two hunters decide to go moose hunting in Canada. They hire an airplane to drop them off in a remote region. The pilot drops them off and tells them, "I`ll be back in one week. No more than one moose - got it?" One week passes, and the pilot returns. The hunters have two moose. The pilot says, "Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose." One of the hunters replies, "Look the pilot told us the same thing last year and we gave him a `big` tip to take both moose out." The three of them argue for several minutes more. The pilot gives up and agrees to take both moose. Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet, 10 feet. Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree. The two hunters, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. One hunter looks at the other and says, "Where the heck are we?" The other looks around and replies, "About 200 yards further than we got last year!" |
wainuitech (129) | ||
| 1453950 | 2018-10-01 19:17:00 | After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it ! Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.! The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So I've got her a pair of football boots! Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages. Whenever he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup.! My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm! Anyone got an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise! My wife apologised for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me! My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner and ignored her all day for no reason ! Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. It's called wedding cake.! Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her makeup.! My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the surface.! |
smithie 38 (6684) | ||
| 1453951 | 2018-10-01 19:53:00 | Aww Smithie, that's good :) :) Kem |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 1453952 | 2018-10-01 20:21:00 | Thanks Ken. Glad you enjoyed them. :clap | smithie 38 (6684) | ||
| 1453953 | 2018-10-01 20:26:00 | What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy . What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough . Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract . How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work . How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose . How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle . How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini . How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one . How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs . How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE . . . . . . He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him . What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window . Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions . What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name . What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes . Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece . Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions . |
piroska (17583) | ||
| 1453954 | 2018-10-02 22:39:00 | How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. bahahahahahaha! Is that why it takes so long? |
allblack (6574) | ||
| 1453955 | 2018-10-06 02:24:00 | Two blind pilots enter a plane. They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence. The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the plane lifts, avoiding the fence at the last second. All the passengers calm down, thinking it was a bad joke. In the cockpit the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says : “One day they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all going to die” |
R2x1 (4628) | ||
| 1453956 | 2018-10-06 05:29:00 | Indian Chief “Two Eagles was asked by a white U.S. government official, “You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.” The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, “Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?” The Chief stared at the government official then replied, “When white man find land, Indians running it, not taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women do all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing all night having sex.” Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, “Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.” |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 1 | |||||