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Thread ID: 105556	2009-12-06 23:42:00	Monday Laughs................Kids 'n Dogs 'n Stuff...........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
837018	2009-12-09 09:03:00	The 3rd season was only last year and there's one coming out next year...	roddy_boy (4115)
837019	2009-12-09 19:26:00	Worth a smile . . . . . . . . . . . ONIONS & CHRISTMAS TREES A family is at the dinner table . The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs: In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm . In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit . After 50, they are like onions' . 'Onions?' 'Yes, you see them and they make you cry . ' This infuriated his wife and daughter! so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there? . The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases . In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard . In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable . After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree . ' 'A Christmas tree?' 'Yes - the root's dead and the balls are just for decoration . '	Cicero (40)
837020	2009-12-09 19:29:00	A genuine accurate account of the events of that fateful morning . . . . Baby bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table . He looks into his small bowl . It is empty . 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks . Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair . He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty . 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars . Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first . It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house . It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee . It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away . It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen . It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants . It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table . It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water . And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once . . . . 'I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET!'	Cicero (40)
837021	2009-12-10 09:33:00	A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention . She went back to find out what was going on . He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy . The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office . He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it . He did it and returned to his class . Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out . 'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said . 'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school . . ' KIDS ; DON'T YOU JUST LOVE 'EM! Ken	kenj (9738)
837022	2009-12-10 09:38:00	Haha that was fantastic.	roddy_boy (4115)
837023	2009-12-10 21:49:00	water powered motor mower Colin had an old mower and after many years of faithful service the carburetor finally decided it was kaput. The lawn refused to stop growing so with some lateral thinking Colin fed a hose from the air intake to the outlet of the petrol tank and with another pipe fed down to the bottom of the tank it enabled the air to bubble through the petrol before entering the motor. Well the motor mower worked fine as long as the tank was full and so just adding a bit of water to the tank allowed the bubble up system to work. So this day a friend stopped to chat and while Colin was mowing the lawn. However the motor mower spluttered to a stop and so Colin commented to his friend that it had run out of water and at that Colin turned the hose on and part filled the tank. To add to the friend’s amazement he added a few hand full of grass. This enabled the remaining petrol to vaporize well and run the motor again, So a totally amazed friend now goes around telling people that he has a friend that runs his mower on water and grass clippings.	piersdad (5644)
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