Forum Home
PC World Chat
 
Thread ID: 106592 2010-01-15 00:10:00 Gotta Love Dem Barristers SurferJoe46 (51) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
848824 2010-01-15 00:10:00 ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes ;
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
____________________________ ______ _________
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
___________________________________ ______ ___
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I'm going with male.
_____ ________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
SurferJoe46 (51)
848825 2010-01-15 00:18:00 I'm pretty sure we have jokes threads weekly courtesy of Billly, posting jokes in there prevents the front page from becoming cluttered with waste of time threads like this one. roddy_boy (4115)
848826 2010-01-15 00:23:00 Please **** off and die. Cato (6936)
848827 2010-01-15 00:38:00 Well I wasn't going to be quite that harsh Cato but yeah I think Joe will get the point. roddy_boy (4115)
848828 2010-01-15 00:39:00 Please **** off and die.

I like the direct approach. He's too thick to take a hint!:groan:

Thanks for the funnies, Joe. Needed on a Friday!:D
Roscoe (6288)
848829 2010-01-15 00:45:00 And Cato did ask nicely as he used the word please which is sadly lacking these days. :2cents: Sweep (90)
848830 2010-01-15 00:51:00 I have someone blocked - did that "some one" say something untoward?

I never saw it. :lol::thanks
SurferJoe46 (51)
848831 2010-01-15 01:00:00 Was it me you blocked SJ?
My comments were aimed at roddy_boy... Someone wanna let SJ know? :p

I found those jokes entertaining :(
Cato (6936)
848832 2010-01-15 01:02:00 Was it me you blocked SJ?
My comments were aimed at roddy_boy . . . Someone wanna let SJ know? :p

I found those jokes entertaining :(

No! Not you!

There's another "somebody" .
SurferJoe46 (51)
848833 2010-01-15 01:03:00 :thumbs: Cato (6936)
1 2