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Thread ID: 106653	2010-01-17 19:24:00	Pre Monday laughs.	Cicero (40)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
849503	2010-01-17 19:24:00	The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition . Here are the 2008 winners: 1 . Cashtration (n . ): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time . 2 . Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ******** . 3 . Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with . 4 . Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly . 5 . Bozone ( n . ): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating . The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future . 6 . Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid . 7 . Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 8 . Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it . 9 . Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late . 10 . Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease . (This one got extra credit . ) 1 1 . Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer . 1 2 . Decafalon (n . ): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you . 1 3 . Glibido: All talk and no action . 14 . Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly . 1 5 . Arachnoleptic Fit (n . ): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web . The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words . And the 2009 winners are: 1 . Coffee, n . The person upon whom one coughs . 2 . Flabbergasted, adj . Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained . 3 . Abdicate, v . To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach . 4 esplanade, v . To attempt an explanation while drunk . 5 . Willy-nilly, adj . Impotent . 6 . . Negligent, adj . Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown . 7 . Lymph, v . To walk with a lisp . 8 . Gargoyle, n . Olive-flavored mouthwash . 9 . Flatulence, n . Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller . 10 . Balderdash, n . A rapidly receding hairline . 1 1 . Testicle, n . A humorous question on an exam . 1 2 . Rectitude, n . The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists . 1 3 . Pokemon, n . A Rastafarian proctologist . 14 . Oyster, n . A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms . 1 5 . Frisbeetarianism, n . The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there . 16 . Circumvent, n . An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men .	Cicero (40)
849504	2010-01-22 21:38:00	The sharing of marriage . . . . The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink . He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife . He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife . He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering . Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them . ' As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple . . . The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything . People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite . She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink . Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them . This time the o ld woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything . ' Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?' She answered (Continue below - This is great) 'THE TEETH . '	Cicero (40)
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