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| Thread ID: 147325 | 2018-11-11 19:55:00 | Monday Laughs - please contribute | Roscoe (6288) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1455550 | 2018-11-11 19:55:00 | I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper . She told me that newspapers are old school . She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad . The fly didn’t stand a chance . A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?” Lawyer says: “1000 dollars for 3 questions . ” Man: “Wow - so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?” Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?” It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it . He keeps standing by the window, staring . If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in . Darling, what will you give me for our 25th anniversary? - A trip to Thailand? - Wow, that’s fantastic, and for our 50th anniversary? - Then I pick you up again . I haven’t spoken a word to my wife in years . She hates to be interrupted . A man simply doesn’t have a clue what real happiness is until he gets married . But then it’s already too late for him . I’ve just had a really big row with my wife about going on holiday . I wanted to go to Paris; she wanted to come with me . 1 . You should have a woman who works at home, who cooks, keeps things tidy and has a job . 2 . You should have a woman who can make you smile and laugh . 3 . You should have a woman you can trust, a woman who never lies to you . 4 . You should have a woman who is good in bed and enjoys spending time with you . 5 . And you should always, always keep these four women from ever meeting each other . |
Roscoe (6288) | ||
| 1455551 | 2018-11-11 20:31:00 | "A" for effort. HERE (www.dropbox.com) |
B.M. (505) | ||
| 1455552 | 2018-11-11 21:15:00 | Wow, speaking of anniversaries, SWMBO and I celebrated our 50th a couple of weeks ago on 26th October . She went crook at me because I insisted on telling everyone that "had it been a prison sentence, I would have been out for good behaviour years ago . " Also telling people about how I haven't eaten cake for years because the last piece I ate bought on gloom, despondency, poverty and loss of speech . (Of course, it was wedding cake!!) A that marriage is a relationship where one person is always right . . . . . . the other one is the husband! They say that marriage is an institution . But who in the hell wants to live in an institution? Ken ;) |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 1455553 | 2018-11-11 23:51:00 | John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep". |
smithie 38 (6684) | ||
| 1455554 | 2018-11-14 04:18:00 | A bit late, but I couldn’t think of a better place to post it. Some of the comments are a laugh on their own. HERE (www.stuff.co.nz) I suggest one Debbie Poole has just made a career ending move, unless she moves to NZ and joins OSH. :lol: |
B.M. (505) | ||
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