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| Thread ID: 146727 | 2018-11-05 19:25:00 | Monday Laughs - please contribute | Roscoe (6288) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1455288 | 2018-11-05 19:25:00 | A lead hardware engineer, a lead software engineer and their project manager are taking a walk outdoors during their lunch break, when they come upon an old brass lamp . They pick it up and dust it off . Poof - out pops a genie . "Thank you for releasing me from my lamp prison . I can grant you three wishes . Since there are three of you, I will grant one wish to each of you . " The hardware engineer thinks a moment and says, "I'd like to be sailing a yacht across the Pacific, racing before the wind, with an all girl crew . " "It is done," said the genie, and poof, the hardware engineer disappears . The software engineer thinks a moment and says, "I'd like to be riding my Harley with a gang of beautiful women throughout the country . " "It is done," said the genie, and poof, the software engineer disappears . The project manager looks at where the other two had been standing and rubs his chin in thought . Then he tells the genie, "I'd like those two back in the office after lunch . " Me: I was staying in a hotel overnight and took my computer down to the bar to do some work . I sat down at the bar and asked the bartender, "What's the Wifi password?" Bartender: "You need to buy a drink first . " Me: Okay . I'll have a beer . Bartender: "We have Steinlager on tap . " Me: How much us that? Bartender: "$8 . 00 . " Me: Okay . Here you are . What's the Wifi password?" Bartender: "youneedtobuyadrinkfirst, no spaces and all lowercase . . . . |
Roscoe (6288) | ||
| 1455289 | 2018-11-05 21:06:00 | Well I thought it was funny. :D HERE (www.youtube.com) |
B.M. (505) | ||
| 1455290 | 2018-11-06 03:22:00 | Well I thought it was funny. :D HERE (www.youtube.com) Nice one BM, thanks for the post :) |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1455291 | 2018-11-06 06:05:00 | Then my dog bit me A man was sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him grabbed the drink and gulped it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he said, menacingly, as the man burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying." "This is the worst day of my life," he answered. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man ... and then my dog bit me." "So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But, Hell, enough about me, how are you doing?" |
Woody (710) | ||
| 1455292 | 2018-11-06 08:02:00 | Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?” asked the one. “Well, not exactly.” His friend replied, “She’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.” “Oh, I see, kinky, huh?” “Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead.” |
tutaenui (1724) | ||
| 1455293 | 2018-11-06 19:29:00 | From our local rag this morning..... Q. What do you get if you cross an agnostic, an insomniac and a dyslexic A. A person that lies awake all night wondering if there is a dog Ken :) |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 1455294 | 2018-11-06 20:24:00 | A man tells a Rabbi, "I have a strong desire to live to eternity. What am I supposed to do?" "Get married" replies the Rabbi. "It's that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?" "No, but the desire will soon disappear" |
smithie 38 (6684) | ||
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