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Thread ID: 109253 2010-04-30 02:56:00 For all you Copier and Printer Techs Jeff (1070) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
881176 2010-04-30 02:56:00 HOW TO PLEASE YOUR IMAGING PROVIDER


1. Always call your copier tech for toner orders. We have nothing else to do all day.
2. When you call in, don’t provide a model number for the machine. We know everything about all machines from memory.
3. Always call a tech to come and change your toner. Babysitting your machine is our life.
4. When the machine displays a call for technician message, don’t record any codes that appear too. We all have ESP.
5. Be sure to jam your copier or printer between as much junk as possible. We love a challenge.
6. Don’t tell the despatcher when you call in for a tech that you also need toner. We carry every toner made with us.
7. Storing your machine in the garage during a cold winter is always good for it. Keeps it from overheating.
8. Give a minimum of information when you call for service. We love surprises.
9. Call the tech directly at lunchtime. We always get paid for lunch time and breaks are for wussies anyway.
10. Always assume your copier tech is a computer expert. That’s why we make the big bucks.
11. Always be somewhere else when you call in a tech. We can sit and drink coffee cause the rest of our calls can wait.
12. Make sure your tech knows what that “piece of crap” has being doing for the last 10 years. We so enjoy a good story.
13. Be sure to scream at the dispatcher cause we all know about the “squeaky wheel", don’t we?
14. Don’t read that users manual. Techs realize you have no time for that and we have so much.
15. Be sure to tell us how you will have to set up a cot for us. We’ve never heard that before and it’s so hilarious.
16. Really complain about being charged if we replace a cartridge in your machine and it fixes an image problem. We know you would have figured it out yourself anyway.
17. Be sure to tell us that” this thing hasn’t worked since you were here 4 months ago” cause we realize none of your phones work and alerting us was impossible.
18. Always use your machines as beverage tables. They are water resistant.
19. Be sure to run your originals through your document feeder stapled together. Modern document feeders come standard with staple removers.
20. Kick the crap out of that machine if it jams. It has sensors that tell it’s bad machine and should work properly.
21. Whiteout works better when it's wet. Please use liberally and with many coats on documents and insert into ADF as SOON as you are done.
22. Place tall kitchen trash cans under finishers, it helps keep them from falling over.
23. Place machine rear as close to a wall as possible, less air flow causes less ozone depletion and helps us keep our green rating.
24. Be sure to use the words" oh, by the way, while your here" when we're ready to leave cause we didn't have anywhere else to go anyway.
25. Now... that I have completed your service call and everything is working very well...why don’t you write a letter on my behalf, so my next evaluation looks good on my pay check next year...thanks...
26. If you're the new guy and just think it would be nice to have a new copier, call for service every day saying the machine's jamming all the time. We'll get the idea and replace your 2 year old copier with a brand new one for free - even though the jam map only shows 2 jams in the document feeder in 15,000 copies.
27. "Oh...we thought that drop down tray on the side was a book shelf. We thought it could hold an entire set of Encyclopedia Brittanicas. Good thing we have a maintenance contract."
28. Call us again and again for the same issues after we tell you parts are no longer available for your machine. We will whip them up in our replicator.
29. NO! I DO NOT NEED YOU TO MAKE YOUR
"TEST COPIES" FOR ME.
30. No, I’m not going to give you credit for the 500 copies that YOU botched up so don’t ask, next time pay attention, or use your proof copy feature remember that in training? No? Of course you don’t.
31. Of course your fax will work reliably with that phone splitter on it! Put as many splitters and credit card machines on it as you can!
32. Be sure to install an 80CPM machine in a small closet, we love spending five minutes to pull units out into hallways to work on them; not to mention we are all sadists and like being stepped on.
33. Be SURE that all attractive women wear low cut tops, it helps with our ADD.
:badpc: 		Jeff (1070)
881177 2010-04-30 03:06:00 Had a good day?:D KarameaDave (15222)
881178 2010-04-30 05:42:00 :lol::lol::lol:

LL 		lakewoodlady (103)
881179 2010-04-30 07:13:00 You forgot the one about "How long is this going to take?" as you come in the door. R2x1 (4628)
881180 2010-04-30 07:37:00 And "When will you be finished?". zqwerty (97)
881181 2010-04-30 08:10:00 17. Be sure to tell us that” this thing hasn’t worked since you were here 4 months ago” cause we realize none of your phones work and alerting us was impossible.

I think anyone who fixes anything has to deal with this one 		Greven (91)
881182 2010-04-30 09:54:00 Ha Ha, we have had technicians in at our work for the last 3 and a half days trying to solve a problem plod (107)
881183 2010-05-01 03:33:00 Good one, so true... Agent_24 (57)
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