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Thread ID: 147583	2019-01-28 03:32:00	Monday Laughs - please contribute	Roscoe (6288)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1457724	2019-01-28 03:32:00	Don't use "beef stew" as a computer password. It's not stronganoff. Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar? A: An algorithm! Q: What do snowmen call their offspring? A: Chill - dren. Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's cot? A: A snowmobile. Q: What happened when two vampires went on a date? A: It was love at first bite. Q: What was the chook suspected of? A: Fowl play.	Roscoe (6288)
1457725	2019-01-28 22:48:00	HELGA'S CRUISE SHIP DIARY DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, shortsets. Really, really exciting, our local Ladies Bowls Club – ‘The Late Bloomers’ decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one - and I can't wait! ----------------------------- --------------------------- DIARY - DAY 2 Entire day at sea, so beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man. ------------------------------------------------------------------ DEAR DIARY - DAY 3 At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- DEAR DIARY - DAY 4 Won £800 in the ship's Casino. The Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- DEAR DIARY - DAY 5 Pool again today. Got really sunburned, and I went inside for a drink at the piano-bar and to cool down; stayed there for rest of day. The Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again, I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- DEAR DIARY - DAY 6 Today I saved 2600 lives. Twice ...... .	Lurking (218)
1457726	2019-01-28 23:22:00	9324	B.M. (505)
1457727	2019-01-29 06:16:00	A cranky older woman "in her senior years" was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches you old fool.” The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store." The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?" The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak. "Yes sir, what do you have to add?" The husband said meekly, "Your Honour, she also stole two cans of peas.	smithie 38 (6684)
1457728	2019-01-29 08:02:00	😂 smithie!!	kenj (9738)
1457729	2019-01-29 20:24:00	Speaking of cruise ships, this counts as laughs cause it is funny. will.tip.dhappy.org Although in a dark humour way. I recommend you read it, it's quite short.	piroska (17583)
1457730	2019-01-30 02:05:00	I just read all that. Not sure what to make of it, though it's quite clever.	allblack (6574)
1457731	2019-01-30 02:56:00	I just read all that. Not sure what to make of it, though it's quite clever. Hardly original. It seems to be a not-very-clever variation on a theme - Spike Jones' Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh - by someone with a political agenda. Funny? Debateful. Clever? Jury's out on that, too. If anyone doesn't know what I'm rabbiting on about, here's Alan Sherman's rendition: Hello Mudduh, hello Fadduh (www.youtube.com) :)	WalOne (4202)
1457732	2019-02-02 02:34:00	Not Monday, and not a joke for some of us! He is supposedly 94 and she 91. Don't know what they're on, but I want some. :) HERE (www.dropbox.com)	B.M. (505)
1457733	2019-02-02 05:42:00	That's the Jitterbug dance I believe.	zqwerty (97)
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