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Thread ID: 147691	2019-03-10 00:15:00	Monday Laughs - please contribute	Roscoe (6288)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1458832	2019-03-15 20:57:00	Very good Lurking.	Richard (739)
1458833	2019-03-17 05:19:00	Millennial Job Interview............ youtu.be Now that's true.	piroska (17583)
1458834	2019-03-18 03:08:00	It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up . Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table . He looks into his small bowl . It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks . Father Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair . He looks into his big bowl . It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars . Mother Bear sticks her head out the kitchen door and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? It was Mother Bear who go up first . It was Mother Bear who woke everybody else in the house up . It was Mother Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away . It was Mother Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper . It was Mother Bear who set the table . It was Mother Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water and food dish . And now that you've decided to come down stairs and grace me with your presence, listen good because I'm only going to say this one more time: I haven't made the f*cking porridge yet!" A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean . The audience would be different each week, so the magician did the same tricks each week . However, there was a problem, the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick . Once he understood, he started shouting out the secrets in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat . " "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table . " "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was, after all, the captain's parrot . One day, the ship had an accident and sank . The magician found himself with the parrot, adrift on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean . They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word . This went on for a day, then another, and another . Finally, after a week, the parrot said, "Okay, I give up . Where the heck is the boat?" They make cat food out of cow, fish, turkey, chicken & lamb meat – but not mouse meat, which is probably all cats want . – John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang)	piroska (17583)
1458835	2019-03-18 03:47:00	Very Interesting Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, Who had 8 kids already, Three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, And she had syphilis, Would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before looking at the response for this one Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates. Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists, He's had two mistresses, He also chain smokes And drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, Sleeps until noon, Used opium in college, And drinks a quart of whiskey every evening. Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, Doesn't smoke, Drinks an occasional beer, And never committed adultery. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first .. No peeking, and then scroll down for the response. Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt. Candidate B is Winston Churchill. Candidate C is Adolph Hitler. And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven. Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone. Remember: Amateurs ... Built the ark. Professionals .. Built the Titanic You gotta pass this on ... 2 TOUGH QUESTIONS.	Lurking (218)
1458836	2019-03-18 19:35:00	If you knew a woman who was pregnant, Who had 8 kids already, Three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, And she had syphilis, Would you recommend that she have an abortion? If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven. . And beethoven was deaf. Perhaps he was considered a good musician but it's still not a reason for women to have so many kids and problems. No doubt it was the syphilis that did it, poor kids. However, I would really have said take some reliable contraception. Of course, that or abortions were not available to Beethoven mum, nor would she have had much choice in her husbands extracurricular activities, dooming her to a crap life. Thats a joke? Weird joke....	piroska (17583)
1458837	2019-03-18 20:59:00	I picked candidate B, I'd never trust someone in office who believes in astrology or is a vegetarian :P And as for the Ark vs the titanic, bad comparison. A mythical boat that we have no evidence ever existed that couldn't possibly have carried a fraction of what it was supposed to vs an actual documented vessel that was very seaworthy icebergs notwithstanding. Now find an actual ark and crash it into an iceberg and we'll have a fair comparison. Seen the replica ark in the US? cost millions and took a crew of contractors with modern equipment years to finish, built to the measurements found in the bible. But some old guy and his family built one with a mallet and a handsaw? Interesting stuff but not exactly funny.	dugimodo (138)
1458838	2019-03-19 01:52:00	We don't know how old the two by twos were, could have just reached their breeding cycle. As for the ark, the Turks. won't allow access to the site it's supposed to be on. Moses's mount in Saudi Arabia is also blocked off from infidel eyes.	Lurking (218)
1458839	2019-03-19 02:16:00	We don't know how old the two by twos were, could have just reached their breeding cycle. As for the ark, the Turks. won't allow access to the site it's supposed to be on. Moses's mount in Saudi Arabia is also blocked off from infidel eyes. Nope, we don't know how old the non existant animals on the non existant boat were. We don't know how moses kept the polar bears cool and the lions warm. We don't know how so few people fed and cared for so many animals and dealt with all their droppings for so long. We don't know how the kangaroos swam from Australia and found their way back again afterwards, or why the door was made too small for the dinosaurs to fit through. We just don't know. We can make a pretty well informed guess that it never happened though. We can also take a pretty good guess that a wooden boat built by hand is not better engineered than the titanic and would not survive an encounter with an iceberg any better and if both were rebuilt today I'm pretty sure I know which one I'd rather ride on, especially for 40 days or whatever it was. Luxury liner vs wooden box, hmmmm.	dugimodo (138)
1458840	2019-03-19 03:34:00	As for the ark, the Turks . won't allow access to the site it's supposed to be on . . Not true . Many people have been all over it many times . No doubt Turkey is sick of it .	piroska (17583)
1458841	2019-03-19 08:36:00	May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people. Age is just a number that determines how happy, attractive, and able-bodied you are. I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.	R2x1 (4628)
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