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Thread ID: 113234 2010-10-11 00:35:00 Monday Laughs......Harold, Hill-Billies, Baptisms, and Catholic Enterprise.......... Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
1143542 2010-10-12 08:55:00 I'm with Billy here, *** it's a thread for jokes, occasionally some people may be offended by some jokes, it's all about how you deal with being offended.

Personally I'm not that keen on derogatory comments on Jehovah's Witnesses, simply because I know the religion reasonably well, and I don't like people bad-mouthing them. I usually try to correct any misconceptions, then I just stay out of it from there.

No harm, no foul.

Now Billy, I think we need a booster-shot of jokes after that lot of nonsense.

Edit; I see a certain three-letter acronym is censored. LOL.


Thats a good idea,and everybody should be whipped if they disagree.

Added to my sigs. 		ubergeek85 (131)
1143543 2010-10-12 09:28:00 As far as i know, you cannot sue under New Zealand Law
You know very, very little. That obviously helps in your ability to misjudge an obvious sarcasm.

Stop doing the '+1' thing. Make your own statement and stop relying on others'. 		qazwsxokmijn (102)
1143544 2010-10-12 09:33:00 This might lighten the mood, just ran across it on facebook;

At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said '****!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling." 		ubergeek85 (131)
1143545 2010-10-12 11:20:00 As far as i know, you cannot sue under New Zealand Law

+1

I'll Ying Tong your Iddle, and raise you two I Po's.

Sue: prosecute [person] in court, make application to court for redress.

It is a broad legal principle, and whichever words you elect to use, you can still end up in court over unpaid debts.

I rest my case M'lud.

BTW, '+1' is just the lazy man's way of saying 'me too', so go forth young goodie, in search of originality; if you don't find it, originality might yet find you.

Cheers

Billy 8-{) :thumbs: 		Billy T (70)
1143546 2010-10-12 12:26:00 Why don’t Jehovah’s Witnesses get killed during an earthquake? They’re always in your doorway. roddy_boy (4115)
1143547 2010-10-12 20:15:00 Why don’t Jehovah’s Witnesses get killed during an earthquake? They’re always in your doorway.
Haha that's brilliant.

But not always true. Sometimes they get inside your house. 		qazwsxokmijn (102)
1143548 2010-10-12 20:39:00 :lol:

Nice one Roddy. 		wratterus (105)
1143549 2010-10-12 23:39:00 > One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
>
> The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
>
> When she asked me why, I replied,
>
> "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
> _____________________
> ________________________________
>
>
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
>
> I turned to her and said,
>
> 'Do you want to have Sex?'
>
> 'No,'
>
> she answered. I then said,
>
> 'Is that your final answer?'
>
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
>
> 'Yes..'
>
> So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
>
> And that's when the fight started...
> ________________________________
>
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant.
>
> The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
>
> 'I'll have the rump steak, medium rare, please.'
>
> He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
>
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
>
> And that's when the fight started.....
> ________________________________
>
>
> My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
>
> She asked, 'What's on TV?'
>
> I said, 'Dust'
>
> And then the fight started..
> ________________________________
>
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
>
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
>
> I bought her a set of bathroom scales.
>
> And then the fight started...
> ________________________________
>
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
>
> I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
>
> 'Yes,' she sighed,
>
> 'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
>
> 'My God!' I said,
>
> 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
>
> And then the fight started...
> ________________________________
>
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
>
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
>
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
>
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
>
> 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
>
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
> And then the fight started...
> ________________________________
>
>
> THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:
>
> When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed..
>
> But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the Ute, making beer.. Always something more important to me.
>
> Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
>
> When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
>
> I said,
>
> 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'
>
> The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
> 		Cicero (40)
1143550 2010-10-13 00:24:00 Excellent Cicero, excellent. :thumbs: Richard (739)
1143551 2010-10-13 01:16:00 :blush:
Excellent Cicero, excellent. :thumbs:



:blush:You are only saying that because it's true.:cool: 		Cicero (40)
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