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Thread ID: 113234	2010-10-11 00:35:00	Monday Laughs......Harold, Hill-Billies, Baptisms, and Catholic Enterprise..........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1143512	2010-10-11 05:41:00	Seriously guys, could we please not do this? We all know what kind of content is routinely posted in the Monday Laughs threads - most of us enjoy the witty humour, and appreciate Billy taking the time and effort to post them for us each and every week. I'm getting rather sick of a few people moaning about the joke threads every week - if you don't like the content, don't read the threads (or at least quit moaning about them - you're obviously not the target audience). Leave them alone for the rest of us who do enjoy them, and don't take offense at the minor crossing of a few lines. No one is complaining about the jokes. You have missed the point completely.	Safari (3993)
1143513	2010-10-11 05:45:00	No one is complaining about the jokes. You have missed the point completely. Aah - I though that people were complaining, and using references to the Paul Henry issue to do so. If I've missed the point, my apologies - that obviously makes my post redundant :rolleyes:.	Erayd (23)
1143514	2010-10-11 05:53:00	If you want to make any comments relating to peoples racial, comedial or other such tastes in life can leave them to the other thread here: pressf1.co.nz	Chilling_Silence (9)
1143515	2010-10-11 06:51:00	I have just adopted a black kid, decided to call him google as the little ****er is always going to be searched	plod (107)
1143516	2010-10-11 07:03:00	Keep up the good work Billy T you make waking up on Mondays worthwhile	gary67 (56)
1143517	2010-10-11 08:57:00	Now that all the off the ball stuff is finished with we have a rare break from ML tradition! To return this thread to its proper flavour, here for your delectation is the Monday Laughs Late Edition Colour Supplement: Once again, the Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners: 1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 3. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness. 8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 10. Decafalon (n): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 1 1. Glibido (v): All talk and no action. 1 2. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 1 3. Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 1 4. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 1 5. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: 1 6. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an *******. ********************************* The Washington Post also published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are: 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavoured mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 1 1. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 1 2. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 1 3. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. 1 4. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 1 5. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 1 6. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. Enjoy! Cheers Billy 8-{) :clap	Billy T (70)
1143518	2010-10-11 09:54:00	Thanks once more for your input Billy T. Most appreciated. I'm a born and bred 5th generation K1W1 BTW and I still like Sheep jokes. I just don't take them all that seriously as such. Having said that I do take some posts more seriously than I should especially when some people contradict what they have said in the past which in MY personal opinion makes them a flat out liar or alternatively they have changed their opinion for one reason or another. My opinion(s) actually change on a daily basis as I try to get the best deal I can at the time within the law more or less and etc. I've been called a bastard in the past but generally as a term of endearment as in, "G'day you old bastard."	Snorkbox (15764)
1143519	2010-10-11 10:44:00	Oh Billy, you'll be the end of me! Laughing so hard can't be good for me! Hope you don't mind, I've added those lists to my sigs, just too funny! Pokemon had me thinking I had removed some throat lining! Still have a grin on my face, thanks :D PS; 470 different sigs and counting.	ubergeek85 (131)
1143520	2010-10-11 11:10:00	I have to do it. A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely New Zealander. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and... put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep,growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen.. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening... red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the New Zealander started to get 'those feelings' again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and, realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman cautiously and whispered in her ear, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'	Snorkbox (15764)
1143521	2010-10-11 18:04:00	I suggest we leave the Paul Henry business in the Paul Henry thread. The jokes are a fixture and as far as I can tell everyone enjoys them, that does not change with views in other areas. So lets let the jokes be the jokes and leave it at that. Feel free to do as you like,I am with Solly.	Cicero (40)
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