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Thread ID: 113399	2010-10-18 03:18:00	Monday Laughs......Wives, Blondes and other strange creatures..........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1145835	2010-10-18 03:18:00	A blonde went into a world-wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money." But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect). "Anything?" he asked. "Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised. Well, then, "Just follow me" said the man, as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man. "Come in and close the door" the man said. She did. He then said "Now get on your knees." She did. "Now take down my zipper." She did. "Now go ahead ..... Take it out....." He said. She reached in and grabbed it with both hands . Then paused. The man closed his eyes and whispered ...... "Well ..... Go ahead." The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, .... .tentatively said ...... "Hello. Mum, can you hear me?" ********************************* When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. David Bissonette ************* After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Sacha Guitry ************* By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates ************* Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Anonymous ************* The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" Dumas ************* I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Sigmund Freud ************* 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' Anonymous ************* 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' Sam Kinison ************* 'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' James Holt McGavra ************* Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Patrick Murra ************* The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... ************* You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. ************* My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Henny Youngman ************* A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Rodney Dangerfield ************* A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' Anonymous ************* First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' ********************************* Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a final night on the town. So, after a few too many drinks, they end up at the local brothel. The Madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her Manager, ‘Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I’m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won’t know the difference.’ The Manager does as she is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business. As they are walking home the first man says, ‘You know, I think my girl was dead!’ ‘Dead?’ Says his friend, ‘why do you say that?’ ‘Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her.’ His friend says, ‘Could be worse I think mine was a witch.’ ‘A witch??. . Why the hell would you say that?’ ‘Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window, and she took my teeth with her! ********************************* After today - that's it .....no more! Billy's final decision. There's no fun or joy in it for me any more. I've made up my mind, It is irrevocable, All good things must come to an end, This one is a result of things people wrote! :mad: They upset me so I decided to quit As of now! I just read an article on the dangers of drinking... Scared the Shlt out of me. So that's it! After today, no more reading. Cheers Billy 8-{) :D So whadja think then? End of Monday laughs? I don't give up that easy. Pass me my voodoo doll :devil:	Billy T (70)
1145836	2010-10-18 03:33:00	Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window, and she took my teeth with her! :D :clap And you had me worried there for a moment Billy :eek: Great as per usual, thanks.	Bozo (8540)
1145837	2010-10-18 03:38:00	we need the Monday laughs to make it a real Monday.	robsonde (120)
1145838	2010-10-18 03:47:00	Monday laughs = moments of sanity in a mad world!	leonidas5 (2306)
1145839	2010-10-18 03:47:00	Top notch! :D	george12 (7)
1145840	2010-10-18 04:03:00	'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage . We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week . A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing . She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays . ' Anonymous Thats a classic in its own right . Great Jokes This Week:clap	goodiesguy (15316)
1145841	2010-10-18 04:22:00	You gave me a heart attack at the end, Billy T :lol: Another thumbs-up from me :) :D :thumbs:	Renmoo (66)
1145842	2010-10-18 04:26:00	Most of them are so true Billy :clap:clap Ken	kenj (9738)
1145843	2010-10-18 05:34:00	My monday is complete	The Error Guy (14052)
1145844	2010-10-18 05:53:00	my heart skipped a beat there for a minute till i scrolled down I think you owe me a beer for that, crikey Good ones Billy	Gobe1 (6290)
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