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Thread ID: 113788	2010-11-03 23:58:00	Subject: $5.37!	SurferJoe46 (51)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1150170	2010-11-03 23:58:00	$5 . 37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me . I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher . Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me . He said, "It's OK . I'll just give you the senior citizen discount . " I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me . "Only $4 . 68" he said cheerfully . I stood there stupefied . I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo . Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil . Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought . I opened the door and headed back inside . I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile . Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys . I began to rationalize in my mind . "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!" I turned and headed back to the truck . I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn . What now? I checked my keys and tried another . Still nothing . That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror . I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror . Then, a few other objects came into focus . The car seat in the backseat . Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard . A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard . Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle . Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life . That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found . I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time . There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish . All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits . Elmo had no clue . I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention . He was holding up a drink and a bag . His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake . " I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized . She offered these kind words: "It's OK . My grandfather does stuff like this all the time . " All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 . Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius . And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast . As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall . I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket . I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey . The good news was I had successfully found my way home .	SurferJoe46 (51)
1150171	2010-11-04 01:23:00	All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. I see you completely wasted him.	ubergeek85 (131)
1150172	2010-11-04 02:14:00	maybe the stress from having grandchildren.	jareemon (5207)
1150173	2010-11-04 05:09:00	Geeze SJ .... didn't think you'd got THAT bad yet :D	SP8's (9836)
1150174	2010-11-04 21:07:00	Wonderful, something to look forward to! :D	KarameaDave (15222)
1150175	2010-11-05 03:50:00	Wonderful, something to look forward to! :D I'm gonna try real hard to make the first 100 years though. It's fun to see what happens next.	SurferJoe46 (51)
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