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Thread ID: 148015	2019-06-16 22:05:00	Monday Laughs - please contribute	Roscoe (6288)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1461562	2019-06-16 22:05:00	Funny Book Titles “The German Bank Robbery” by Hans Zupp “I Hate the Sun” by Gladys Knight “Prison Security” by Barb Dweyer “Irish First Aid” by R.U. O’Kaye “I Didn’t Do It” by Ivan Alibi “The Bruce Lee Story” by Marsha Larts “Take This Job and Shove It” by Ike Witt “Split Personalities” by Jacqueline Hyde A grandson went up to his grandpa and said, “Grandpa, can you talk like a frog?” “No, why?” “Just wondering.” A few minutes later, the granddaughter came up and said, “Grandpa, can you talk like a frog?” “No. Why do you kids keep asking me if I can talk like a frog?” “Because Dad said, ‘When Grandpa croaks, we can all go to Disneyland.” In a convent in the Irish countryside, the 99-year-old Mother Superior lay quietly. She was dying. The nuns had gathered around her bed, laying garlands around her and trying to make her last journey comfortable. They wanted to give her fresh warm milk from their dairy to drink, but she declined. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they lifted her head gently and held the Glass to her lips. The very frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop. As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader. "Mother," the nuns asked earnestly, "Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us." She raised herself up very slowly in the bed on one elbow, looked at them and said, "Don't sell that cow!"	Roscoe (6288)
1461563	2019-06-18 22:17:00	We know the Dark Ages were caused by the Y1K problem. 1066 Daily ChainMail Headline: King Harold blames eye infection on illegal immigrants. Galileo invented the telescope and then, about five minutes later, invented spying on his neighbours. Breaking News: Archaeologists digging at the site of Shakespeare's house have uncovered thousands of monkey skeletons. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. George Burns Teacher : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" Student : "Because George still had the axe in his hand!" Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom. Abraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, high chief of all the Vikings, accidentally ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside. Blackadder Some people are always late, like the late King George V. Spike Milligan As Captain Oates said: 'There's never a minicab around when you need one.' Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? I remember where I was when I heard Kennedy was shot. I was at home, sitting down listening to the news. You know what was odd about 9/11? The numbers 9 and 11.	R2x1 (4628)
1461564	2019-06-19 06:48:00	Good ones guys :lol::lol::lol:	WalOne (4202)
1461565	2019-06-19 07:28:00	Greenie woman went to a swanky restaurant and said to the waiter..... "I am a vegan and gluten intolerant! What can you get for me?" The waiter very politely said. "Madam, if you just take a seat for a short while, I will get you a taxi."	kenj (9738)
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