Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 114945	2010-12-25 07:15:00	Can You Hear Me Now???	SurferJoe46 (51)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1164665	2010-12-25 07:15:00	An Australian preacher addressing his outback congregation said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." With that, an Aboriginal man got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Henry, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Henry replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Henry's ear, placed his other hand on top of Henry's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Henry, how is your hearing now?" ................................ Henry answered, "I don't know. It ain't until next week."	SurferJoe46 (51)
1164666	2010-12-25 07:17:00	great stuff Joe :lol: had to read it twice though just to make sure :D	GameJunkie (72)
1164667	2010-12-25 07:36:00	I gotta be careful telling jokes about Australians and Upsidedowners, they might just knock on my door and break my knees some day.	SurferJoe46 (51)
1164668	2010-12-25 08:11:00	A rolling preacher showed up in a small Kansas town, and that night, so the signs said, there was going to be several hours dedicated to healing and miracles of faith - and everyone would be privileged with a collection to be taken for The Lord ' s work . For the first two hours, the preacher - soaked and sweating in the Kansas hot Summer twilight heat - told the gathered audience about the perils of Hellfire and Biblical Damnation and they would be the after-effects for leading a loose life the finality of which was eternal pain and a burning, lingering non-death if everyone didn ' t get saved and repent - and of course ample funds were needed to be collected for The Lord . There were a lot of people saved, but they had mostly came to see the healing and miracles . So - as the promised time was upon him, the preacher asked for persons with birth defects and diseases to approach the front of the altar and present their case to him . Old Widow Conklin, the town ' s oldest resident was first on line wearing two crutches and a younger man with a cleft palate helping her to the front of the line . The preacher asked him what she needed in the form of a miracle and he said with a very cleft lip that they had come for a healing to them both - him for his cleft palate and her to be able to walk again without the need for crutches or her wheelchair . Knowing he had the whole audience now in his palm waiting for a great double miracle, he told the boy with the cleft palate to take the crippled widow to a waiting room during which he put on a big theatrical show praying for them both and they were to wait for the healing to take place behind stage . After another hour of hotly preaching and promising miracles and praying for the power to heal everyone - and the passing of the collection plate several times - he asked one of the attendants to take a microphone into the waiting room with the old widow and the boy with the cleft palate and to give the boy the mic and let him describe the miracles that had taken place . ' Is the widow standing up with her crutches son?" ' Uh huh ' said the boy . ' . . . . and can she hear me? ' the preacher asked . ' Uh huh ' came the reply again from the boy ' Widow Conklin, throw down your crutches!!! ' yelled the preacher, ' You have been healed and you can walk!" The audience could hear the crutches hit the floor and a gasp went out through the crowd . ' Son - can you tell the audience what is happening? You ' ve both been healed!!! ' said the preacher . ' Tell us, son - tell us what happened!!! ' he yelled again . After a few moments of silence, the boy answered ' Yeth! Thee fell on her ath! ' yelled the boy . :devil '	SurferJoe46 (51)
1164669	2010-12-25 23:48:00	An Australian preacher addressing his outback congregation said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar . " With that, an Aboriginal man got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Henry, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Henry replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing . " The preacher put one finger of one hand in Henry's ear, placed his other hand on top of Henry's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm . After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Henry, how is your hearing now?" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Henry answered, "I don't know . It ain't until next week . " Subtle . Like GameJunkie, I had to read it twice . I like it!	johcar (6283)
1