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Thread ID: 115553	2011-01-23 21:21:00	Monday Laughs....Relationships, Drug runners & Golf..	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1171956	2011-01-27 04:56:00	----- Original Message ----- From: Shirlene Sent: Thursday, January 27, 2011 3:25 PM Subject: Paddy wackers Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet . Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me" . Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet" . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat . It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND " . Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick the bloody thing up . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Paddy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor . "No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another . A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road . Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road . Cop says "For gods sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about!" ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable . His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing . "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks . "Here boy" he replies . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- Paddy's in jail . Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet . "What the hell you doing?" he asks . "Hanging myself" Paddy replies . "It should be around your neck" says the Guard . "I know" says Paddy "but I couldn't breathe" . ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- An American tourist asks an Irishman: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the Irishman replies: "If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the bloody boat . --------------------------------------------------------------------------------	Cicero (40)
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