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Thread ID: 118318	2011-05-30 00:07:00	Monday Laughs.......Work and marriage theme today....................	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1205618	2011-05-30 00:07:00	Best Things to Say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk . . . "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen . " "This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me . " "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out . You probably got here just in time!" "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm . " "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance . " "I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress . " "Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem . " "The coffee machine is broken . . . " "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot . . . " and, probably best and safest of all . . . . . . . . . " . . . . . . . in Jesus' name, Amen . Yes, did you want me?" ********************************* A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband . The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries . One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs . She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs . Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken legs . Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts . The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts . On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages . Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store . . . Her husband speaks English! What were you thinking ? I worry about you lot sometimes! ********************************* At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house . " "Ah yes, Ernesto . What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead" . "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?" "Si, Senor, that's the one . " "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird . What did he die from?" "From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod . " "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Senor . He ate the meat of the dead horse . " "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred, Senor Rod . " "My prize thoroughbred is dead?" "Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart . " "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire, Senor . " "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire . " "What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!" "Yes, Senor Rod . " "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Senor Rod . " "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!" "Your wife's, Senor Rod" . She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a burglar thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft . " SILENCE . . . . . . LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . VERY LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in DEEP shlt!" ********************************* ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy ********************************* A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license . First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test . The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z . ' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked . 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'The guy married my sister!' Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1205619	2011-05-30 00:46:00	Ahh it's Monday thanks Billy T	gary67 (56)
1205620	2011-05-30 01:01:00	Good on you Billy. :)	WalOne (4202)
1205621	2011-05-30 06:44:00	A dyslexic man walks into a bra... And here's a cartoon chzb.gr	bot (15449)
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