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Thread ID: 118596	2011-06-12 23:50:00	Monday Laughs......Texan gallantry, Snippets and miscellaneous aphorisms...........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1208769	2011-06-12 23:50:00	As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus . Slightly embarrassed, and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg . She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't . So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step . Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg . With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step . About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus . She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled 'How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!' The Texan smiled and drawled, 'Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends! ********************************* Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling . "I'm OK, but I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used in surgery," he answers . "What did he say?" asks the nurse . "OOPS!" ********************************* SHOPPING MATHS A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs . A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need . ********************************* HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next . " They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals . ********************************* Sited Aphorisms: Friends don't let friends Take home ugly men . Women's restroom Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE ----------- Beauty is only a light switch away . Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC ----------- If life is a waste of time, And time is a waste of life, Then let's all get wasted together And have the time of our lives . Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC ----------- Fighting for peace is like Screwing for virginity . The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO ----------- No matter how good she looks, Some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shlt . Men's Room Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC ----------- At the feast of Ego Everyone leaves hungry . Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ ----------- It's hard to make a comeback When you haven't been anywhere . Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, AZ ----------- Make love, not war . Hell, do both GET MARRIED! Women's restroom The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT ----------- If voting could really change things, It would be illegal . Revolution Books New York, New York . ----------- If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! Men's restroom House of Representatives, Washington, DC ----------- Express Lane: Five beers or less Sign over one of the urinals Ed Debevic's Bar, Phoenix, AZ ----------- You're too good for him . . Sign over mirror in Women's restroom Ed Debevic's Bar, Beverly Hills, CA ----------- No wonder you always go home alone . Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's Bar, Beverly Hill, CA Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1208770	2011-06-12 23:58:00	made me smile thanks billy	Gobe1 (6290)
1208771	2011-06-13 00:50:00	Classic loved them all, thanks Billy T	gary67 (56)
1208772	2011-06-16 03:34:00	A refuse collector in Cairns , Australia , is driving along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor. He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck goes to the front door and knocks. There's no answer. Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder. Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door. "Harro prease!" says the Chinese man "Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector "I bin on toiret," explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed. Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again. "No ! No ! Mate, Where's your dust bin?" "I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Chinese man, still perplexed. "Listen," says the collector. "You're misunderstanding me. Where's your 'wheelie' bin?'" "OK, OK." replies the Chinese man with a sheepish grin and whispers in the collector's ear. "I wheelie bin having sex wiffa wife's sista!"	Cicero (40)
1208773	2011-06-16 03:36:00	Haw Haw Cic awesome	Gobe1 (6290)
1208774	2011-06-16 05:14:00	On a toilet wall in San Fran back in the 70's. If you voted for Jimmy Carter in the last election you can't sh!t here as your arse hole is in Washington.	mikebartnz (21)
1208775	2011-06-16 05:28:00	Self explanatory ....	SP8's (9836)
1208776	2011-06-16 05:39:00	Self explanatory .... Now we know what Metla gets up to on slow days.... :D	johcar (6283)
1208777	2011-06-16 05:56:00	:thumbs:	SP8's (9836)
1208778	2011-06-16 07:58:00	All these are excellent  :pf1mobmini:	bot (15449)
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