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Thread ID: 119200	2011-07-10 11:27:00	Monday Laughs.....Get in early today for bargains...........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1215902	2011-07-10 11:27:00	An old man goes into a Pharmacy to buy some Viagra . He asks the pharmacist: "can I have the tablets cut into quarters please? Yes, I can cut them for you" says the pharmacist, "but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection! "I am ninety six" says the old man, "I don't want a full erection, I just want it sticking out far enough that I don't pee on my slippers" . ********************************* New Two-Year Degree A new two-year degree is being offered at numerous colleges and universities that many should be interested in: Becoming a Real Man . That's right, in just six trimesters, your spouse or significant other can become a real man as well as earn an MA (Male Arts) degree . Please take a few minutes to look over the program outline . FIRST YEAR Autumn Schedule: MEN 101 Combating Stupidity MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework MEN 103 PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Under-Things for Christmas Winter Schedule: MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4:00am MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II ECO 001A What's Hers is Hers Spring Schedule MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Butt Face When You're Wrong MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers ECO 001C What Was Yours is Hers SECOND YEAR Autumn Schedule: SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower SEX 103 How to Stay Awake After Sex MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down Elective Options (See Below) Winter Schedule: MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important-I Spring Schedule: MEN 220 Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only) MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important-II Course Electives: EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils EAT 103 Burping and Belching Discreetly MEN 231 Mothers-in-law MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear" ECO 001C Cheaper to Keep Her ********************************* A popular US airline recently introduced a special half-rate fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips . Expecting great feedback, the company sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip . Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?" ********************************* Two couples were playing poker one evening when Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor . As he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bob's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced . Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments . Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you liked under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, yes, indeed he did . She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500 . After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested, and Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, he should be at her house around 2 p . m . Friday afternoon . When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p . m . sharp - and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed, then Jim dressed quickly and left . As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p . m . And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?' With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon . ' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?' Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500 . ' Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, said 'Good . He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me and he promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back . ' Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player! ********************************* On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike . The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there . Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah . " The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike," then proceeds to issue the kid a $20 . 00 bicycle safety violation ticket . The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there . Did Santa bring that to you?" Humouring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did . " The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top . Cheers Billy 8-{) :) I'm outa town for a couple of days, off at 6:15am :eek:	Billy T (70)
1215903	2011-07-10 11:42:00	:D Thanks Billy	bot (15449)
1215904	2011-07-10 12:45:00	Good laughs there. I see that the early bird catches the worms.	Bobh (5192)
1215905	2011-07-11 00:31:00	Like them all but the men college one.. Too much reading for my liking, probably too early for me to read something like that (only 11.30AM :p)	Empathy. (16382)
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