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Thread ID: 119879	2011-08-14 23:54:00	Monday Laughs.........A Simple Test, 'Ask Obama', NZ's smartest Maori etc..........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1223324	2011-08-14 23:54:00	KEEP YOUR GRAY MATTER ACTIVE 1 . Johnny's mother had three children . The first child was named April . The second child was named May . What was her third child's name? 2 . There is a salesperson at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers . What does he weigh? 3 . Before Mt . Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? 4 . How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two metres by three metres by four metres? 5 . What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? 6 . Jenny was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the winter . How is this possible? 7 . In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with an artificial leg . Why not? 8 . What was the President's Name in 1975? 9 . If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? 10 . Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? 11 . If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answers posted tomorrow, please keep yours to yourself until then . ********************************* President Obama goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little positive PR, and at the end of his talk he offers question time . One little boy puts up his hand, and Obama asks him his name . "Stanley," responds the little boy . "And what is your question, Stanley?" "I have three questions: First, why did the USA Bomb Libya with out the support of the Congress? Second, why are you President when John McCain got more votes? Third, why are we so worried about gay-marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance? . . . . . . . Just then, the bell rings for recess . Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue with question time after recess . When they resume Obama says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right: question time . Who has a question?" Another little boy puts up his hand . Obama points him out and asks him his name . "Steve," he responds . "And what is your question, Steve?" "Actually, I have five questions" says Steve . "First, why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress? Second, how come you are President when John McCain got more votes? Third, why are we so worried about gay marriage when half of all Americans don't have health insurance? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, what the @#$% has happened to Stanley?" ********************************* The Amazing Human Body It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach . One human hair can support 6 . 6 pounds . The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb . Human thighbones are stronger than concrete . A woman's heart beats faster than a man's . There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet . Women blink twice as often as men . The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain . Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still . If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Women will be finished reading this by now . Men are still busy checking the length of their thumbs . ********************************* Two older women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery . The first woman said, "I have to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob-job . " The second woman responded, "Oh, that's nothing girlfiend, I'm thinking of having my ar$ehole bleached!" "Whoa," replied the first woman . "I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!" ********************************* Air NZ was grounded by volcanic ash and a small charter aeroplane usually used by Sky Divers was about to crash . The Pilot said he could get the plane down safely on a nearby top-dressing strip but not with the passengers on board, however there were only three parachutes . The first passenger said, "I am John Key, the chosen one . New Zealand needs me so I can't afford to die . " He then grabbed the first parachute and jumped from the aircraft . The second passenger, Hone Harawira, said, "I am the leader of the Mana party in Aotearoa and I am the smartest Maori in New Zealand history, so New Zealand's people won't want me to die . " He took the second parachute and jumped out of the aircraft . The third passenger, an elderly retired civil servant, said to the fourth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could, but you still have your whole life to live, and who knows how great you may become . I will stay on board with the pilot and accept the risk of losing my life, so please, you must take the last parachute . " The little girl said, "Don't worry, it will all be okay, Sir . Look, there's parachutes left for both of us, NZ's smartest Maori just jumped wearing my backpack!" Cheers Billy 8-{) ;)	Billy T (70)
1223325	2011-08-14 23:59:00	still checking my thumb awesome Billy Haw Haw EDIT: 2,3,7,8 stumped here	Gobe1 (6290)
1223326	2011-08-15 00:07:00	Good stuff mate :D Didn't get #2 or #8 though... Waiting for tomorrow with eager anticipation!	Chilling_Silence (9)
1223327	2011-08-15 00:10:00	Geeze ... it's colder than I thought down here ... :blush:	SP8's (9836)
1223328	2011-08-15 00:38:00	Hmm, can't get #8 :x	inphinity (7274)
1223329	2011-08-15 00:39:00	Good stuff mate :D Didn't get #2 or #8 though... Waiting for tomorrow with eager anticipation! Can't wait for tomorrow..	Sp00n (9907)
1223330	2011-08-15 02:12:00	I have answers for all - whether they are right or not is another story.	sam m (517)
1223331	2011-08-15 02:18:00	Well done Billy. Loved the one about the parachute. Having trouble with #2.	mikebartnz (21)
1223332	2011-08-15 02:26:00	Number 2 isn't difficult - look at the context of all the other questions. The answer is the "Doh!" one, rather than the one that has no apparent clue. (Hope that hasn't given too much away, Billy!)	johcar (6283)
1223333	2011-08-15 02:34:00	What did happen to poor Stanley? :confused: I look forward to getting the answers to the questions.	Bobh (5192)
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