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Thread ID: 119872	2011-08-14 09:48:00	A real letter sent to the government	bot (15449)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1223079	2011-08-14 09:48:00	A real letter sent to the Government earlier this year… NIGEL JOHNSON-HILL, PARKFARM, MILLAND, LIPHOOK GU30 7JT Rt Hon David Milliband MP Secretary of State. Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), Nobel House 17 Smith Square London SW1P 3JR 16 July 2009 Dear Secretary of State, My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs.. I would now like to join the "not rearing pigs" business. In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy. I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these? As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I haven't reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this? My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is - until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any. If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department. Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases? Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don't rear? I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the current Defra advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)? In view of the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits. I shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election. Yours faithfully, Nigel Johnson-Hill	bot (15449)
1223080	2011-08-14 10:50:00	A real letter sent to the Government Wrong. earlier this year… Wrong, once again.	Cato (6936)
1223081	2011-08-14 10:58:00	It mentions pounds, that's enough to call fake :p :pf1mobmini:	pcuser42 (130)
1223082	2011-08-14 11:03:00	It mentions pounds, that's enough to call fake :p :pf1mobmini: Possible fail on your call / Reason for Fake :p Look at the address: Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), Nobel House 17 Smith Square London Last time I looked England used Pounds and Google maps, shows that address in London, UK Location (maps.google.co.nz n+SW1P+3JR,+UK&aq=&sll=-40.900557,174.885971&sspn=40.740593,89.560547&gl=nz&ie=UTF8&split=0&hq=&hnear=Nobel+House,+17+Smith+Square,+London+SW1P+3J R,+United+Kingdom&z=16&iwloc=A&ved=0CBAQpQY&sa=X&ei=z51HTsKZCsuOkgWJ47i_CA), and that is where the DEFRA is located :D	wainuitech (129)
1223083	2011-08-14 11:29:00	Aah, I assumed NZ government :p	pcuser42 (130)
1223084	2011-08-14 11:34:00	Found that spoof letter as far back as 2007. There's even a US version in circulation.	martynz (5445)
1223085	2011-08-14 21:02:00	But with the stupid laws that emanate from Brussels by the EC that scenario could actually happen	gary67 (56)
1223086	2011-08-14 22:03:00	Aah, I assumed NZ government :p “When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.” ~ Oscar Wilde on Assumption :D	WalOne (4202)
1223087	2011-08-14 22:24:00	Sounds like a viable business proposition to me. Getting money from the Government for doing nothing.:thanks Very much like going into WINZ and saying I have not got a job. Can I please get some money for doing nothing. This could be a genuine, sarcastic letter sent to The Secretary of State in London. This could be a witty protest letter.	Bobh (5192)
1223088	2011-08-14 23:11:00	“When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.” ~ Oscar Wilde on Assumption :D My physics teacher last year said that too :p	pcuser42 (130)
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