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Thread ID: 120180 2011-08-28 22:36:00 Monday Laughs.........A religious theme (I saw the error of my ways)......... Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
1226780 2011-08-28 22:36:00 The Donation:

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the Inland Revenue Department. Can you help us with an enquiry regarding one of your parishioners?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to your Church?'

'He will.'

*********************************


The Confession:

An elderly man walks into a confessional.

The following conversation ensues:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two hitch-hiking college girls. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old ..... I'm telling everybody!'

*********************************


The Choice:

An old lady dies and goes to heaven.

She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

'Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for the wings.'

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation.

Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams. 'Oh my God,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'

'Not to worry,' says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.'

'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'

'You can't go there,' says St. Peter, 'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'

'Maybe so,' says the old lady, 'but I've already got the holes for that...'

********************************

The Visitation:

God visited a man and told him he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into heaven.....

The man said he would try his best.

God visited the man a week later to see how he was getting on.

"Not bad" said the man, "I've given up smoking and drinking but when the wife bent over the lounge suite and I caught sight of her long slender legs, I pulled her skirt up, pulled her knickers to one side and gave her one right there ".

"They don't like that in heaven", said God......

The man replied:

"They were not too happy about it in Harvey Norman's either!"

********************************


The Reality:

Police in London found a bomb outside a mosque....

They told the public not to panic as they'd managed to push it back inside.



Cheers

Billy 8-{) :devil 		Billy T (70)
1226781 2011-08-28 23:28:00 :lol::lol::devil gary67 (56)
1226782 2011-08-29 00:36:00 :lol::lol::devil

You think they are funny do you gary, rather pathetic I thought. 		Safari (3993)
1226783 2011-08-29 00:37:00 Great jokes today Billy, thanks. :D wratterus (105)
1226784 2011-08-29 00:38:00 You think they are funny do you gary, rather pathetic I thought.

Go moan somewhere else...

Thanks again Billy, love the Monday laughs :lol: :punk 		Bozo (8540)
1226785 2011-08-29 00:57:00 The best joke is Safari claiming " I thought ". ;) R2x1 (4628)
1226786 2011-08-29 01:03:00 The best joke is Safari claiming " I thought ". ;)

I like that one, you have a talent R2 and I think you should take over Monday Laughs 		Safari (3993)
1226787 2011-08-29 01:04:00 Not taking anything over is the greatest of my talents. R2x1 (4628)
1226788 2011-08-29 01:36:00 MAJOR UNEMPLOYMENT

Apple workers lose Jobs. 		R2x1 (4628)
1226789 2011-08-29 02:57:00 Har Har zqwerty (97)
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