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Thread ID: 120180	2011-08-28 22:36:00	Monday Laughs.........A religious theme (I saw the error of my ways).........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1226790	2011-08-29 03:12:00	MAJOR UNEMPLOYMENT Apple workers lose Jobs. :lol:	goodiesguy (15316)
1226791	2011-08-29 03:14:00	Rather pathetic I thought. That's not very nice talking about yourself like that.:2cents: Anyways, Thanks for the laughs billy, these were some of the best you've ever posted:thanks	goodiesguy (15316)
1226792	2011-08-29 03:20:00	That's not very nice talking about yourself like that.:2cents: Hey there's no need to get into a tit for tat, that'll do...	Chilling_Silence (9)
1226793	2011-08-29 03:46:00	You think they are funny do you gary, rather pathetic I thought. I for one really appreciate Billy T for putting a smile on my face every Monday, just because your having a bad day doesn't mean you have to spoil it for everyone else	gary67 (56)
1226794	2011-08-29 04:03:00	Haw Haw They were all GOLD Billy Thanks again And R2 funny as always :)	Gobe1 (6290)
1226795	2011-08-29 04:34:00	A response to everybody in general and nobody in particular . (And I mean that!) Reading Monday Laughs is not compulsory, and I usually give fair warning in the title if I think my choice of jokes might offend somebody's sensibilities . Monday Laughs is probably the least hijacked thread in the history of PF1, given the years that it (and its weekly predecessors) has been running . In total that is probably something like 500+ Mondays by now, more if you count WFTWE* which ran on Fridays, so let's not ruin the record by getting all minty at this late stage . If you don't like it, don't read it . It is not possible to go through life, or to deliver Monday Laughs, without upsetting somebody, somewhere, at some stage, but whatever the topic, we have to be able to laugh at ourselves and all of our own foibles and idiosyncracies, as well as at those of others . If you read it and don't like it, nobody forced you to look at it so please don't comment . Go buy a Billy doll and stick pins in it by all means, but keep it to yourself please . If you really didn't like it and are [I]truly offended, PM me and we can sort it out off the Forum . However, religion(s) are always going to be fair game, for reasons I shall shortly explain . I'd like to keep Monday Laughs going as long as I can, it is kind of a a hobby now and even if my Monday is not good, and today definitely isn't! there's no reason why others shouldn't have a laugh . However, I do feel obliged to review the potential effects of including the occasional joke with a religious theme, and looking at the actual statistical relevance (N) of that offence it becomes clear that we need to do some serious calculations: Estimating N from religions: First let us set the basic pararmeters: Adherents . com claims to have figures for 4,200 religious groups currently existing on Earth . Using the ratio of current population to the total number of people who have ever lived, we get an estimate of 63,000 religious groups throughout human history . (Only Homo sapiens' religions are being considered . It may well be that other hominids believed in god or gods, but it would be pure guesswork to estimate the number of gods in which they believed . ) The modern dominant (that is, have the most adherents) religions are monotheistic (worship one God), but they are actually very few in number . In fact it is arguable that Christianity is at least duo-theistic because Christians worship in the names of the Father (God), the Son (Jesus) and the Holy Ghost (un-named) . Wikipedia lists 309 Hindu deities . The ancient Hittites claimed to have 1000 deities in their pantheon and there are many many more . So for a rough estimate of the typical number of deities per religion, we'll take the average of these 3 figures, giving 440 deities per religion . This gives an estimate of N = 28,000,000 . (Gods) Note: It is not clear how many of this 'God number' are humanoid, animal, vegetable, mineral, reptilian, insectoid, piscine, geological, extra-terrestrial, lunar, planetary, solar, galactical or just plain ephemeral . Is it any wonder we have sectarian violence and wars fought over differences of faith?? But I digress, yet again! So . . . . . cutting to the chase, how many gods do theists [I]not believe in? For monotheists, the number of gods they don't believe in will be N-1 (or possibly N-3), which, of course, are all very close to N, and for atheists the number is N . So, if the estimate above is correct, then (in some senses) atheists and mono/duo/tri-theists only differ by 0 . 000036% in their beliefs . Out of common decency and respect for the views of others, I feel obliged to apply a margin of error of up to ±25% to the above statistic . And with that, I rest my case! There is no chance we'll ever share identical beliefs, so let's all just get along, live and let live, and be friends . Cheers Billy 8-{) :2cents: * WFTWE: Word For The Week End	Billy T (70)
1226796	2011-08-29 05:06:00	Thought this may be a worthy addition to this weeks edition . OT (Religious theme) but still So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda p****d off because he doesn't want to be yellow . Life would be easier if he were brown like the other toads . . . He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing . Anyway . . . This yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother . "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads," he begs her . . "I'm hacked off being so visible to predators . The stress is like, killing me, you know?" "Okay" says the fairy godmother, who whips out her magic wand and goes: "Abracapokus! You're brown!" The toad looks down and sees that he is brown ! Except . . . . . for his weenie, which is still yellow . "Hang about lady," he says to the fairy godmother, "My pecker's still yellow!" "Yeah, well I don't do weenies," she says, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that . " So the toad thanks her and hops off on his way . There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods . As luck would have it, he encounters the very same fairy godmother (yes okay it's a coincidence, but it's true) . "Fairy Godmother! You're just the person I need!" says the purple bear, "I can't pull any bearesses cos they don't want to be seen with me on account of the hunters . They can spot me from a mile off . " Being a fairly nice fairy godmother, she takes out her magic wand . . "Oh for goodness sake, what is the matter with you lot round here . " she says . And with that, she yells: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!" The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown . Except for his goolies, which remain purple . "Hold up sweetheart!", he says to the fairy godmother, "My goolies are still purple!" "Yeah, well I don't do those goolie things," she replies, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that . " "Well that's just dandy, innit?" the bear replies, "How the hell do I find the Wizard of Oz?" "Easy," says the fairy godmother as she flew off . . . . . . . . . . . . ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ she flew off, saying . . . . . . . "Just follow the yellow-prick toad !! "	WalOne (4202)
1226797	2011-08-29 05:21:00	Always love Monday Laughs and tell my friends the good ones! Cheers Billy.	lordnoddy (3645)
1226798	2011-08-29 06:00:00	I always look forward to the Monday laughs. Love every minute of it. Thanks so much Billy for doing such a great job. I do admire the fact that the jokes are, without fail, here every Monday. What a commitment! Please understand that the moaners are thankfull few and far between. Let's ignore them and continue to enjoy your weekly efforts. Thanks, Billy.:thanks	Roscoe (6288)
1226799	2011-08-29 06:12:00	Yes Billy... there have been times when I have wandered away from the forums.. but have always had a quick check on Monday mornings for my laugh dose. Please keep it up.. (the jokes that is!!!!!!) Ken :thumbs:	kenj (9738)
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