| Forum Home | ||||
| PC World Chat | ||||
| Thread ID: 120339 | 2011-09-04 22:59:00 | Monday Laughs:.......As you were, I've given up on religious jokes............... | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1228635 | 2011-09-04 22:59:00 | An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand, and leading a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure, Chief. Coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee..... The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, leading another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter: "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day." ********************************* An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. 'I'm 90 years old,' he says. '90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realise you've had it?' 'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?' ********************************* An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile.. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.' 'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.' ********************************* There are Some Things You Don't Argue With: A while back, I picked up a lovely date at her parents' home. I'd scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant. She ordered the most expensive items on the menu: Shrimp cocktail, Lobster Patron, Champagne. I asked her, "Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?" "No," she replied, "but my mother's not expecting a blow job tonight." I said, "Would you care for dessert?" ********************************* Prostate Examination...Thai Style... After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting Bangkok where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating. As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and this gorgeous nurse began the examination. "At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection" said the nurse. "I haven't got an erection" said the man. "No, but I have" replied the nurse. ********************************* Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if anything untoward occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?! Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD?!" The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!" "GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!" (Sorry, found this hidden away and I couldn't leave an orphan all alone, now could I?) Cheers Billy 8-{) :p |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1228636 | 2011-09-04 23:12:00 | :lol::lol: Thanks Billy well up to the usual standard | gary67 (56) | ||
| 1228637 | 2011-09-05 02:42:00 | :thanks Billy | WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1228638 | 2011-09-05 03:03:00 | Thanks Billy. Always enjoy your jokes. | Pato (2463) | ||
| 1228639 | 2011-09-05 03:03:00 | Nice ones Billy, that last one is a crack up! | wratterus (105) | ||
| 1228640 | 2011-09-05 06:21:00 | good stuff thanks billy |
Gobe1 (6290) | ||
| 1228641 | 2011-09-05 09:00:00 | Love the joke on Thai-style prostate examination :p P.S. The medical term for physical prostate examination is Digital Rectal Examination, and I used to wonder why is it called "Digital" until I was told it means the use of a finger digit as part of the investigation. |
Renmoo (66) | ||
| 1228642 | 2011-09-05 12:31:00 | Had my first DRE from a lovely young lass many years ago when I was still in my 20's. She was not long out of medical school and I found it much less intimidating and embarrassing than having some bloke giving me the finger (so to speak) :blush: She asked if had, and if she could and I thought 'what the heck, got to start sometime' and what better way than by getting a new doctor started as well so I said no and yes in that order. Since then I've only ever had women doctors anyway, by chance, not choice, and while PE's are not exactly my favourite leisure activity, it beats having the works stripped out without the option if something goes wrong and isn't detected in time. Female doctors are very gentle about the whole thing and you get to leave with your dignity intact. If you are over 30 you're a mug not to have an annual check, I've had a friend and a family member caught out by prostate cancer and although caught in time, they lost 'functionality' from that time on. If you don't do it for your own sake, do it for your family. Cheers Billy 8-{) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1228643 | 2011-09-07 00:18:00 | My doctor's a little bloke and last time he did a DRE, he tried hard but his finger was too short to reach the spot, so I have to rely on PSA tests. | TideMan (4279) | ||
| 1228644 | 2011-09-07 00:32:00 | very good Billy :clap | GameJunkie (72) | ||
| 1 2 | |||||