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Thread ID: 120922	2011-10-03 01:10:00	Monday Laughs:....Staying well away from the RWC and groin strains .................	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1235160	2011-10-03 01:10:00	. . . Fred and Larry got married in California . They couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first married night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Larry are up yet. She replies, 'No'. Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?' His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.' Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Larry up yet?' She replies, 'No.' Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?' His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school ' After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Larry up yet?' His mom says, 'No.' He asks, 'Do you know what I think?' His mom sighs, then says, 'OK, if you must, so tell me what you think.' He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room looking for the Vaseline and............. I think I gave him my Super-Glue.' ******************************** A tale from Queensland: When my Doctor asked me about what I did yesterday, I told him about my day: "Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a deep lake, barely escaped from a wild pig in the heavy brush, marched along a treacherous trail up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and barely escaped jumping away from an aggressive brown snake." Inspired by my story, the Doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoorsman!" "No," I replied, "I'm just a terrible golfer." ******************************** An Elephant asked a Camel, "why are your breasts on your back?" 'Well,' said the Camel, 'I think that's an entirely inappropriate question, coming from somebody whose dick is on his face.' ******************************** This is alarming news: Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, female hormones! Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption because last month, scientists at Montreal University released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Beer contains female hormones because hops contain Phytoestrogens. So by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 pints of beer within a one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, every one of these men: 1) Argued over nothing. 2) Refused to apologise when obviously wrong. 3) Gained weight. 4) Talked excessively without making sense. 5) Became overly emotional. 6) Couldn't drive. 7) Failed to think rationally. 8) Had to sit down while urinating. And 9) As we have all known for some time, in severe cases floppy 'man-boobs' are grown, and your arse expands as well. No further testing was deemed necessary! ******************************** The Arabs are not happy! They're not happy in Gaza. They're not happy in Egypt. They're not happy in Libya. They're not happy in Morocco. They're not happy in Iran. They're not happy in Iraq. They're not happy in Yemen. They're not happy in Afghanistan. They're not happy in Pakistan. They're not happy in Syria. They're not happy in Lebanon. And where are they happy? They're happy in England. They're happy in France. They're happy in Italy. They're happy in Germany. They're happy in Sweden. They're happy in the USA. They're happy in Norway. They're happy in every country that is not Muslim. And who do they blame? Not Islam. Not their leadership. Not themselves. [i] [b]Yep! They blame the countries they are happy in! Absolutely spot on, and after they have turned these countries into the same miserable shlthole they were so desperate to get away from in the first place, they will all be unhappy again. Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1235161	2011-10-03 01:31:00	Thanks Billy	Gobe1 (6290)
1235162	2011-10-03 05:44:00	Cheers, Billy. Making Mondays fun days again :thumbs:	WalOne (4202)
1235163	2011-10-03 06:04:00	Thanks Billy	gary67 (56)
1235164	2011-10-03 06:47:00	Loved the Arab one thanks Billy.	mikebartnz (21)
1235165	2011-10-03 08:21:00	Loved the Arab one thanks Billy. Seems rather accurate too... :groan:	Agent_24 (57)
1235166	2011-10-03 08:23:00	Legend	ubergeek85 (131)
1235167	2011-10-03 08:29:00	:lol: as good as usual	icow (15313)
1235168	2011-10-03 09:49:00	Thanks.	Snorkbox (15764)
1235169	2011-10-03 10:04:00	This is your best lot ever. All of these were laugh out loud funny. You just made my Monday a really good day. Thanks for the hilarious jokes.	goodiesguy (15316)
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