Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 121265	2011-10-18 17:09:00	Youse Guys Got Some Of This Going On Too ----?	SurferJoe46 (51)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1238300	2011-10-18 17:09:00	As the Occupy Wall Street movement spreads and gains attention, it's tempting for many people to dismiss it as a bunch of lefty kooks in much the same way people tried to dismiss the Tea Party as, well, a bunch of right-wing kooks . Tempting, but mistaken . Listen to Doug McAdam, a professor of sociology at Stanford University* who studies populist movements like these . He places the current uprisings represented by the tea party and Occupy Wall Street alongside the unrest in the Great Depression and the activism of the 19th-century populist movement as the most significant economic protests in U . S . history . And he makes a strong argument to back that up . We're accustomed to thinking that the era of American radicalism is something from a bygone era . McAdam noted that the most recent economic uprising of comparable scale occurred in the early days of the Great Depression, which was marked by widespread protests and violence . But, he pointed out, "This is a very tumultuous time in the U . S . , politically, economically and socially . " With both Occupy and the tea party, people have underestimated them because they seem messy, chaotic, muddled . But McAdam says such incoherence is typical at the start of protest movements . * A very questionable source at best, since it's basically knee-jerkers with sheepskins . LINK::: . mercurynews . com/opinion/ci_19132947?nclick_check=1" target="_blank">www . mercurynews . com	SurferJoe46 (51)
1238301	2011-10-18 18:54:00	URGENT MESSAGE FROM THE HM QUEEN ELIZABETH II To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). ------------------------ 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' ------------------- 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. ----------------- 4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse. ---------------------- 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. ---------------------- 6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. -------------------- 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. ------------------- 8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. ------------------- 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. --------------------- 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. --------------------- 11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). --------------------- 12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries. -------------------- 13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. ----------------- 14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). --------------- 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season. God Save the Queen! :devil:devil	gary67 (56)
1238302	2011-10-18 20:17:00	URGENT MESSAGE FROM THE HM QUEEN ELIZABETH II To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately . (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary . ) What? Are youse Brits gonna start making payments on the Post WW-II Lend-Lease and want to a) pay off your National War Debt b) cease accepting monetary and food . pharmaceutical hand-outs, c) return all the leased battleships, carriers and aircraft that are currently in your employ, d) start paying for protection from The Barbary Pirates, Insurgent Norsemen, The French, Vikings and the Spanish Moors? Good on ya, mates! Here! Here! Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy) . Sitting one a throne and waving a hankie is not a duty . It is an avocation - actually a paid-in-full vacation . Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections . . . . and Devil's Island will be reopened and floggings in Ye Pvblik Square will return to every hamlet and municipality . Binding in stocks and dunkings for practices of witchcraft will also resume . Congress and the Senate will be disbanded . A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed . OK by me . But then their then newly appointed representatives shall commence to wearing ladies undergarments and wearing powdered wigs as a matter of secret society protocol, whilst attempting to keep the ladies undergarment-wearing thing below the radar, as it were, and out of the new National Newspaper - Page Three . Subscriptions of Page Three will be mandated as primary school educational material and will be issued for a fee to all school-aged children . . To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1 . The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour . ' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise . ' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels . (look up 'vocabulary') . Youse guys kill me - in Cockney, yet! ------------------------ 2 . Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication . There is no such thing as U . S . English . We will let Microsoft know on your behalf . The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize . ' Like Dude! Whatchur problem-o, huh? C'mon 'n get real-like will yez! ------------------- 3 . July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday . How about Coronation Day and Guy Fawk's --- and that good ol' fav of the British Isles: The Stonehenge Virgin Heart-Eating and Prima-Noche Wedding Night Assumptive Rights by the illegitimate hemophilia-laden son(s) of the currently reigning King and/or Queen? ----------------- 4 . You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists . The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent . Guns should only be used for shooting grouse . If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse . Lances? Drawn & Quartered? Maces? Lacing to the Wheel? Thumb Screws? Iron Maidens? The 'Horse'? Molten Lead all out too? Rats! What's the fun in that stuff? ---------------------- 5 . Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler . Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public . Is this under or over or INSIDE the Sporran? What about under the kilt? What's really UNDER a kilt anyway? ---------------------- 6 . All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect . At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables . Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour . As long as they're well-lighted by the UK-National Light Bearer System - Lucas, then I gotz no problems with this . About the Brit 'Humour' thing --- Benny Hill? I rest my case . -------------------- 7 . The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon . Get used to it . Do Royal Farts burn? Might be an answer to the energy crisis here ------------------- 8 . You will learn to make real chips . Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps . Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar . I got buffalo chips, cow chips, rat chips (but we call them 'turds" here) and chips of leaded paint . Whatcha want? BTW: CATSUP is a hairball . ------------------- 9 . The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all . Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager . New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer . They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them . American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion . And aull well and goud as that may be --- we then insist oun a fuully colour illustrated cooukboouk of the Best Ou' British cooking! Yummy! (Noutice my attempts tou adhere tou the new-tou-me grammatical and spelling ruules!) We waunt to learn houw to prepare meat bouiled until it's gray, rubbery and flavourless and then pouur mint sauuce all ouver it . This will herald a new quest for expanded sea exploration much like that which achieved for Britain the motto: Once Upon A Time: The Greatest Navy In The World! (Uh huh! - tell me another one, Josephine!) . . . . when the real reason for The Massive Crown expansion throughout history was sailors looking for a decent meal . --------------------- 10 . Hollywood (sic) "Houllywooud" will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys . Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters . Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater . Hey! We already use Engelbert Humperdink and Tom Jones - what more ya want? 'The Stones' do not make good celluloid Box-Office though . We also use that great Brit-woman actress who played 'Q" in the latter Naught-Naught-Seven movies . She's also in 'Rising Damp' - which I watch with great interest each week . Dame-some-thing-or-other . I don't imagine using your off-cast ex-prisoners in Australia counts, does it? I mean we really like Crocodile Dundee . --------------------- 11 . You will cease playing American football . There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders) . Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies) So - doilies and pomanders are the new rage? And powdered WHATS? --------------------- 12 . Further, you will stop playing baseball . It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2 . 1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable . You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries . I personally will comply with this demand, but only if you also outlaw basketball and ice hockey . You MAY have some problems with your cousins, THE CANADIANS though over that last suggested exorcism . -------------------- 13 . You must tell us who killed JFK . It's been driving us mad . The FBI under the gun of the Cosa Nostra . Look it up . It's common- albeit unspoken knowledge here . Sheesh! You fer real? ----------------- 14 . An internal revenue agent (i . e . tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776) . We shall also pay in 1776 coin-of-the-realm from the date of generating this fee: pigs, ducks and quill pens . --------------- 15 . Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p . m . with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season . I like The Cosmopolitan look too - but let's go all the way . Bring back head lice, herpes from The Royals, death at childbirth, blue-blooded cousin/cousin and brother/sister royal marriages, living to a ripe olde age of 30 and The Black Plague . They were a lot of fun then, why not now and again? God Save the Queen! (from her faster running brothers and cousins) Better yet: buy the Queen and her ladies in waiting (not the guys wearing lady's underwear) some track and running shoes . Couldn't hurt . :devil:devil	SurferJoe46 (51)
1238303	2011-10-18 21:03:00	Clever-and-funny (Gary67) 8/10 (John Cleese?) Not-so-clever-and-funny (SurferJoe 46) 2/10. Never try to better British humour. (No, Benny Hill doesn't even rate a mention) Sorry Joe, you're not in the same class as John Cleese. :D	WalOne (4202)
1238304	2011-10-18 21:21:00	Oh - The Fish-Called-Wanda-Guy? We might let him sell some used cars here - if he can get that gap and errant whistle fixed between his front teeth.	SurferJoe46 (51)
1