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Thread ID: 121400	2011-10-24 10:37:00	Alcohol facts	bot (15449)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1239559	2011-10-24 10:37:00	Today I learned... Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages. Mead is made from honey. Cider is made from apples. Beer is made from grains. Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops. They used to flavor beer with dandelions. Ain’t that cute? All beer is either ale or lager. Ale is fermented at room temperature. Lager is brewed and store cold. Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales. Pilsner and bock are lagers. Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager. Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout. Butterbeer isn’t real. (Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda) Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash. Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but **, it would be awesome if it were. Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes. Red wine is made from red grapes. White wine is made from green grapes. The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape) Unless you live in France. In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape. (for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay) Champagne is any sparkling white wine. However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France. Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish. Act like it tastes good. Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later. You’ll be fine. Brandy is distilled wine. Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels. Don’t around with the French about their cognac. Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol. Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain. Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal. Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits. Sweet vermouth has added sugar. Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg. Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol. Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added. Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables. Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh. Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols. Vodka is grain alcohol and water. Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous. Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries. Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise. Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels. Malt whisky is made from barley. Grain whisky is made from all the other grains. Scotch is whisky made in Scotland. Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn. Don’t around with the Scottish. Don’t around with people from Kentucky, either. Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant. Rum is liquor made from sugarcane. Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins). American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup. Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2. Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something. Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherer of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead. Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke. Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke. Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said. Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You ers. If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit. Don’t leave a drunk friend alone. Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1. If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers. Don’t be a **ing idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox. Really, do you need to drink? You probably don’t. But now you know some stuff. Maybe. cas-sexual.tumblr.com	bot (15449)
1239560	2011-10-24 11:15:00	Interesting.	Bobh (5192)
1239561	2011-10-24 19:40:00	Really, do you need to drink? Yes, otherwise you'll get dehydrated and die. :p	pcuser42 (130)
1239562	2011-10-25 02:39:00	Yes, otherwise you'll get dehydrated and die. :p Smartass :p	bot (15449)
1239563	2011-10-25 04:03:00	Drink alcohol, get dehydrated, and die faster. You can't win. :horrified	WalOne (4202)
1239564	2011-10-25 04:29:00	Smartass :p It's what I do best. :D	pcuser42 (130)
1239565	2011-10-25 06:20:00	Rum is made from molasses, home made vodka is only poisonous if you A) make it too concentrated or B) distil a whole heap of other alcohols into it other than your friendly 2 carbon ethanol	The Error Guy (14052)
1239566	2011-10-25 08:03:00	Most of the crap people drink in America is polluted water. Most of the beautiful beer people drink in Ireland is dry stout.:drool Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal. They also make a white port which is rather nice. Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous. You have to be careful of any spirit as the first bit that comes out of the still is poisonous. Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise. and has a very high alcohol content. Fixed those for you.	mikebartnz (21)
1239567	2011-10-25 09:27:00	Avoid these cocktails: [snip] Jack and Coke No can do squire. Nowadays that's usually all I drink. I wouldn't call it a cocktail though. I'd add to that, don't drink any spirits 'neat' (unmixed), you'll be on the floor faster than you can say "But I only had a few!".	ubergeek85 (131)
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