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Thread ID: 121692	2011-11-07 03:42:00	Monday Laughs:......No theme, just an an eclectic mix for you today ...........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1242338	2011-11-07 03:42:00	. . . Health Alert : I did not know this.... did you? When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems. When you drink Gin over ice, it can cause brain damage. Apparently, ice is really really bad for you. Please warn all your friends......... ********************************* Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. "Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested, so Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms. "Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a packet out from under the counter and gave it to Donald. The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill for you?" "Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!" You smiled...I saw you!! ********************************* Sometimes... When you cry..... No one sees your tears.. Sometimes... When you are in pain. No one sees your hurt. Sometimes.. When you are worried.. No one sees your stress Sometimes.. When you are happy.. No one sees your smile ..... But FART!!! just ONE time.... And everybody knows!! Gotcha!! Bet you thought this was going to be one of those heart-touching stories with a warm and cuddly punchline! ********************************* 'OLD' IS WHEN... . Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any extra fibre today. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking building. 'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom. AND 'OLD' IS WHEN... . You are not sure these are jokes! ******************************** A policeman spots a huge black guy dancing on the roof of a Ford car so he radios for backup. "What's the situation?" asks the operator. "A big, fat, black dude is dancing on a car-roof." "You can't say that over the radio," replies the operator. "You have to use the politically correct terminology." "Okay," says the cop: "Zulu, Foxtrot, Sierra." Cheers Billy 8-{) :) Why the sad face? I thought I'd posted it this morning and got home to find it still waiting!	Billy T (70)
1242339	2011-11-07 04:40:00	:lol: Thanks Billy :)	bot (15449)
1242340	2011-11-07 05:08:00	A policeman spots a huge black guy dancing on the roof of a Ford car so he radios for backup. "What's the situation?" asks the operator. "A big, fat, black dude is dancing on a car-roof." "You can't say that over the radio," replies the operator. "You have to use the politically correct terminology." "Okay," says the cop: "Zulu, Foxtrot, Sierra." :lol: That was good.	icow (15313)
1242341	2011-11-07 05:58:00	haha awesome Billy cheers	Gobe1 (6290)
1242342	2011-11-07 06:57:00	A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. “I’d like some raisin bread please!”, the man says. The shop assistant climbs up the ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought. When she descends the ladder, he decides that he would really like two loaves. After she retrieves the second loaf of bread and descends the ladder, one of the other male customers notices whats going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread. After many trips she is tired and irritated and begins to wonder, “why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?” Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd. Thinking that she can save herself another trip, she yells at the elderly man, “Is it raisin for you too?” “No,” stammers the old man, “but it's quivering a little.” __________________________________________________ ____________________ I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.	tutaenui (1724)
1242343	2011-11-08 04:52:00	Three Rugby Coaches Robbie Deans, Martin Johnson and Graham Henry - are invited to heaven watch the World Cup Final with God. God decides who will sit next to him by asking them the same question. God asks Deans first: "What do you believe?" Deans says, "I believe in hard work and staying true to family, teammates and friends." God is impressed by Deans and offers him a seat to his left. God then turns to Johnson and asks, "What do you believe?" Johnson says, "I believe loyalty, discipline, courage and honour are the fundamentals of life." God is again impressed and offers the Englishman a seat to his right. Finally, God turns to Henry: "What do you believe?" Henry then says, "I believe you're in my seat."	johcar (6283)
1242344	2011-11-11 19:49:00	I was in the local $2 shop, and they had a couple of "Act" posters up. I said "I've heard of bull in a China shop - now I've seen it."	R2x1 (4628)
1242345	2011-11-11 20:10:00	I was in the local $2 shop, and they had a couple of "Act" posters up. I said "I've heard of bull in a China shop - now I've seen it." :lol:	Gobe1 (6290)
1242346	2011-11-11 21:27:00	<Jimbo> The best way for a baker to prevent his delicious cakes being stolen would be to cover them in dogshit and broken glass, but in doing so he would also kill his sales. Ubisoft are currently that baker. panjohnl: Bad joke time! So Helium walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." panjohnl: Helium doesn't react. panRJK: you know what I say to that? panRJK: He He He <octdave> i need to poop and eat <octdave> ever ate a sandwich while pooping? <octdave> I might try that, to save time <officer_falcon> save even more time, just throw the sandwhich into the toilet <officer_falcon> take out the middle man	Agent_24 (57)
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