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Thread ID: 122257	2011-12-11 22:16:00	Monday Laughs:.........Ye Festive Fare............	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1248195	2011-12-11 22:16:00	. . . The Twelve days of Christmas On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows 7 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 4 Sectors bad, 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 5 Trojan Hits, 4 Sectors bad, 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 6 ints conflictin', 5 Trojan Hits, 4 Sectors bad, 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 Trojan Hits, 4 Sectors bad, 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 8 Gigs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 Trojan Hits, 4 Sectors bad, 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 9 Apps a crashin', 8 Gigs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 Trojan Hits, 4 Sectors bad, 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 10 modes not supported, 9 Apps a crashin', 8 Gigs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 Trojan Hits, 4 sectors bad, 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 11 instructions faulty, 10 modes not supported, 9 Apps a crashin', 8 Gigs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 Trojan Hits, 4 Sectors bad, 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 12 sound cards silent, 11 instructions faulty, 10 modes not supported, 9 Apps a crashin', 8 Gigs overflowin', 7 files missin', 6 ints conflictin', 5 Trojan Hits, 4 Sectors bad, 3 Sites not responding, 2 GPFs, and Windows 7 for my PC! ******************************** After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics sales assistant, and she showed him a bottle costing $50. "That's a bit much," said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30. "Thats still quite a bit," Tom groused. Growing disgusted, the sales assistant brought out a tiny $15 bottle. Tom grew agitated, "What I mean," he said, "is I'd like to see something real cheap." So the sales assistant handed him a mirror. ******************************** Ten signs you're not going to get a Christmas bonus 10. Co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of unemployment future". 9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial. 8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips. 7. What you call "my new office," everybody else calls "the stationery cupboard". 6. The Boss's Christmas card says, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out". 5. You keep getting memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants. 4. When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, he was crushed under an avalanche of stolen office supplies. 3. Whenever you ask for a raise, a guy shows up at your house and breaks your jaw. 2. In your most recent performance evaluation, the word "hopeless" appeared seventy-eight times. 1. You're the opening batsman for the Black Caps. ******************************** One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer's hoof. As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, "You know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here." The reindeer looked hard at the coins in his hoof and said, "Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy!" "At these prices, I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here too!" Cheers Billy 8-{) Imagine a Santa emoticon of your choice here: [ ]	Billy T (70)
1248196	2011-12-11 22:35:00	1. You're the opening batsman for the Black Caps. hahaaouch good one Billy	Gobe1 (6290)
1248197	2011-12-11 22:43:00	:lol::lol::lol:	gary67 (56)
1248198	2011-12-12 10:33:00	Bump- To get back to the proper order of things. :D	Billy T (70)
1248199	2011-12-12 21:40:00	I'm allowed to post this one - it's my 25th wedding anniversary today (with no time off for good behaviour!) AND I play golf (badly): ***** At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead". "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?" "Si, Senor, that's the one." "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?" "From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod." "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse. " "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred, Senor Rod." "My prize thoroughbred is dead?" "Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart." "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire, Senor." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire." "What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!" "Yes, Senor Rod." "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Senor Rod." "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!" "Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft." SILENCE...........LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE. "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep ****."	johcar (6283)
1248200	2011-12-12 23:58:00	Johcar, I have found an old 2009 thread of yours relating to the removal of decramastic cladding from your home. I also live on the North Shore and have a similar, ugly dwelling and was considering the same. Have you got a way I could contact you to ask you about it? Your thread is one of the only things on the internet that is non-roofing related that I can find. It would be much appreciated. Apologies to all for hijacking this humurous thread but I don't have priviledges to message direct. Regards, Jason	Jase_1 (16652)
1248201	2011-12-13 01:03:00	Johcar,I have found an old 2009 thread of yours relating to the removal of decramastic cladding from your home. I also live on the North Shore and have a similar, ugly dwelling and was considering the same. Have you got a way I could contact you to ask you about it? Your thread is one of the only things on the internet that is non-roofing related that I can find. It would be much appreciated. Apologies to all for hijacking this humurous thread but I don't have priviledges to message direct.Regards,Jason Check your email	johcar (6283)
1248202	2011-12-13 07:04:00	@Johncar That golfing joke was a good one, even though I know nothing about golf ! It would be hard to remember it all at a party !	Digby (677)
1248203	2011-12-13 20:04:00	Liked them all as usual. Another 12 days: Version for Christchurch of the Twelve Days of Christmas On the first day of Christmas My true love gave to me A visit from the EQC On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me Two sticky doors and a visit from the EQC…etc Three fixed cracks Four wobbly walls Five portaloos Six cellphones charging Seven jugs-a-boiling Eight potholes growing Nine plumbers plumbing Ten students shovelling Eleven pavers paving Twelve builders building	Brucem (8688)
1248204	2011-12-14 08:15:00	Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG WITH THAT SIR? Cowboy: NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!!	bugalugs67 (9647)
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