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Thread ID: 122945	2012-01-22 19:58:00	Monday Laughs.........Women & Italians [Caution, some content may offend]............	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1255541	2012-01-22 19:58:00	. . . Women........... I spent $5000 on a boob-job for my wife. She was delighted. I spent another $2000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $3000 on liposuction for her. She was over the moon! I spend $50 on a blowjob for myself, and she goes, like, totally mental!! ********************************* A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal but soon the woman is beginning to feel a little intestinal discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water, and left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'. The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrrrip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Skippy!' Once again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Skippy, get away from her before she shlts on you!' ********************************* On the sixth day, God commanded the land to bring forth living creatures and He made wild beasts, livestock and reptiles. He then created man and woman in His "image" and "likeness", and commanded them to "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it. Then, on the seventh day of Creation......God created the orgasm, so that women can moan even when they are happy ..." ********************************* A wife and husband were Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve. The mall was packed. Walking through the mall, the wife was surprised when she looked up and noticed that her husband was nowhere around. She was very upset because they had a lot to do. So she used her cell phone to call her husband to ask him where he was. Her husband in a calm voice, said, "Honey, remember the jewelry store we went into 5 years ago, where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford? And I told you that I would get it for you one day?" His wife, crying, said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store." He said, "Well, I'm in the bar next to it." ********************************* An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. The friend was impressed by the way her friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the husband was in the living room, the friend leaned over to her hostess to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names'. The elderly lady hung her head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old sod to remind me what it is.' Cheers Billy 8-{) :) On reflection, I dropped the Italian joke because it had a nautical theme, and might have been considered a little tasteless at this point in time. I'll save it for another day.	Billy T (70)
1255542	2012-01-22 20:18:00	Good ones Billy. Lurking.	Lurking (218)
1255543	2012-01-22 23:02:00	Thank you Billy Monday has no officially started	gary67 (56)
1255544	2012-01-22 23:36:00	Is it Monday already. Thanks Billy.	Bobh (5192)
1255545	2012-01-22 23:51:00	HAHA thanks billy	Gobe1 (6290)
1255546	2012-01-23 03:30:00	A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?” __________________________________________________ ______________________________ If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time	tutaenui (1724)
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