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Thread ID: 123049	2012-01-30 20:31:00	Monday Laughs......... Yesterday was an AK holiday.. so Mrs T had me in the garden!	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1256645	2012-01-31 22:45:00	I lived in Sydney for 13 years and was deported with no Aussie accent! Corrected for you, Snorky. :lol:	WalOne (4202)
1256646	2012-01-31 23:22:00	I lived in Sydney for 13 years and came back with no Aussie accent! Maybe but we need evidence from someone else, you can't hear your own accent. I have had friends come back after just a few months with hints of an aussie accent.	dugimodo (138)
1256647	2012-02-01 02:43:00	. . ********************************* Mrs T bought me an iPhone for Christmas and after some thought I bought her an iRon . She wasn't too happy about this, even after I explained that it could be integrated with the iWash, iCook and iClean functions she already had . Then when she tried it, the damned thing automatically opened the iNag reminder service which totally wiped out the iShag function! Man, was I iRate about that! Cheers Billy 8-{) :) Then, of course, there is the iWorker ( . sunlive . co . nz/news/21352-apple-launches-iworker . html" target="_blank">www . sunlive . co . nz)	tuiruru (12277)
1256648	2012-02-01 08:55:00	I lived in Sydney for 13 years and came back with no Aussie accent! Musta been living in Bondi ... Eh Bro ... :D	SP8's (9836)
1256649	2012-02-01 21:09:00	Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. Shotgun wedding - a case of wife or death. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.) In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes. She was engaged to a guy with a wooden penis, but broke it off. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under. Every calendar's days are numbered. A lot of money is tainted - taint yours and taint mine. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. Acupuncture is a jab well done	johcar (6283)
1256650	2012-02-02 01:44:00	And another... A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?" "Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus" The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?" "You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules." So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar. "Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do: First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it." "Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands." "Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem." The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!" "Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is." As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!" He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds! Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence! Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"	johcar (6283)
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