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Thread ID: 123421	2012-02-23 12:07:00	Homeschooling	beetle (243)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1260906	2012-02-24 07:25:00	This is what is going thru my brain....... its a FB thing, but ... "The boy u punched in the hall 2day Committed suicide a few minutes ago. That girl u called a **** in class 2day. She's a virgin. The boy u called lame. He has 2 work every night 2 support his family. That girl u pushed down the other day. She's already being abused at home. That girl you called fat. She's starving herself. The old man u made fun of cause of the ugly scars. He fought for our country. The boy u made fun of for crying. His mother is dying. u think u know them. Guess what? u don't!	beetle (243)
1260907	2012-02-24 07:29:00	This is what is going thru my brain....... its a FB thing, but ... "The boy u punched in the hall 2day Committed suicide a few minutes ago. That girl u called a **** in class 2day. She's a virgin. The boy u called lame. He has 2 work every night 2 support his family. That girl u pushed down the other day. She's already being abused at home. That girl you called fat. She's starving herself. The old man u made fun of cause of the ugly scars. He fought for our country. The boy u made fun of for crying. His mother is dying. u think u know them. Guess what? u don't!Yeah I can agree on your above statement. My concern is how will home schooling affect your other children and what message will it send them.beetle, you are the only one that can decide what's best for your children. And what is right for you might not be for someone else.	plod (107)
1260908	2012-02-24 07:33:00	What effects are you thinking? I only have the 2 kids, one is still at primary. I would consider if it worked for my girl doing the same for my boy...... he is a sports nut, so no probs socialising there...... And my boy knows all about what is happening to his big sister, and he is adament he wont turn out the same, or a bully.	beetle (243)
1260909	2012-02-24 07:39:00	THe self harm is quite worrying. Teenagers can be savagely cruel to each other. I don't look back on my own youth with any pride in that respect. On the other hand, surviving 'bullys' is a means towards self growth, and being bailed out of difficult situations by others will not necessarily build anything other than a long term dependant (leech). My work has exposed me to home schooled kids. I've been very impressed with them in terms of manners and intellect. But they are socailly starved, and stand out among others like an Amish at a nude beach. Kind of out of kilter with the rest of society. They look different (ie dressed by mum) and sound different, speaking clearly without use of contractions or the latest social treands (like saying "word", or "yo", or moving like a spastic ape with 2 fingers always in the air). However, if your kid is only one year away from job seeking, then she's not going to come out of home schooling like a social leper or an uptight knob. But is mum up to the task? How strong were your own grades? Also, look for other sources of 'abuse'. What is happening when she's away with dad? Or with the swimming coach? If your girl is doing self harm, then she's sufficiently screwed up that it justifies not showing any males in her life sufficient trust to leave her alone in their company. That includes dad, and her brother, her uncle, her teacher, her principal, her councillor, her cousin, or the neighbours. If something is going on, a 6 month break may give her enough time to clear her head and get the courage to put the brakes on any bad behaviour others are exposing her to. On the other hand, you could probably also do her a favour by breaking some of the religeous brainwashing, and make her understand that desires, curiosity and masturbation are not dirty sins, and a part of normal growth and discovery. And that a broken heart or frustration every year of the teens is perfectly normal. There's a big step between a councellor and a psychologist, and a further big jump to a psychiatrist. While a psychiatrist is more likely to dope her up, he's also more likely to help save her life. I think you shoul demand a referral to a psychiatrist. Meanwhile it would probably do her good to be spared all the other crap that screws up a young girls perspective and self image... so... no TV, no internet, no magazines, no fashion this or top model that. The world is awash with social brainwashing. Even the one and only female in the Smurfs is drawn as slim, blonde, pretty and 'girly', and can be seen as just as unrealistic as Barbie re the body image she conveys. She may hate such 'deprivation' of the current entertainment fare, but maybe you can avoid it being obvious by substituting other media that is not going to brainwash her towards a) dieting, b) sex, c) fairytales and marriage. Make movie night a regular reward, but with carefully selected content. Does she have any strong passions you could both share, which both involve some socialising / mixing among others? If possible, find a way she can grow, while under your supervision, without being smothered by you. This could be anything from pottery classes to engine repair. Wish I could do more to help. Good luck to you both.	Paul.Cov (425)
1260910	2012-02-24 07:44:00	wow	beetle (243)
1260911	2012-02-24 08:30:00	beetle, please don't think I am being facetious, but have you given any thought that maybe a clinical psychologist may be able to help? I don't think you need a doctor's referral, but you could ask her/him. Your daughter seems to be going through a whole range of problems, including lack of self esteem. It's a case of which came first, the chicken or the egg, when trying to analyse what is happening. All very worrying for a parent. I am sorry you don't seem to be getting any answers that you find helpful. As far as I am aware, apart from our own experiences, none of us are qualified to really help regarding the social problems. Some people, by nature, are 'loners' and it doesn't worry them. Others find their niche in sports and clubs, most who belong to similar groups are friendly enough, but it's a two way thing. I don't know if homeschooling would work, it depends on the child and the parent. I only know that I was happy at school and there will always be a mean kid or two around, even as a youngster I felt that they were the one with the problem.	Marnie (4574)
1260912	2012-02-24 09:47:00	That's why im homeschooled now, and why i'm so ****ed up. That must have been a very brave decision on you and your parents part. I wish you all the best. Schools can be the most hateful places for some people! One can learn just as well, and sometimes a lot better when away from all the other s&%t that goes on at school! LL	lakewoodlady (103)
1260913	2012-02-24 10:33:00	Nobody know what they will do till they are in the situation........its not something i would pass on to any one, its just im not willing for this to carry on. I want to save my little girl a whole lot of pain. I dont know how to fix it, i just want it to stop, and it isnt. The pain won't stop :( Seriously, i'm on depression medication, physically and mentally hate myself etc... And that is after 6 or so years of hard core bullying. I don't know how bad your daughter has it, but if it sounds like what you wrote (all has happened to me constantly below): Bullying, harrasment, fear............social rejection. continued vocal harassment during school time, between class's, after school, accused, accosted and belittled, vicious rumours in all secondary schools. mental state of child, and physical state of child deteriating, self harm happening due to constant school stress. In all honesty, she's ****ed. I mean, she might feel a bit better about herself or things after a while, but in all honestly i don't think you'll ever be able to fix it. This is what serious bulling does to people. I just live day by day, and if i get extremely down, i just like down in my room, on my laptop, and play music extremely loud to lock out bad thoughts. Hope i haven't offended anyone in this post, this is just the way i see it.	goodiesguy (15316)
1260914	2012-02-24 10:35:00	Well yes metla I would, it's called tough love, been there done that. If my parents did the **** your saying, they'd be dead, or seriously injured. That is not the way to treat someone who is extremely down and has been seriously bullied. It just makes more hate, which is the last thing someone needs.	goodiesguy (15316)
1260915	2012-02-24 16:55:00	GG it takes all sorts to make the world go round and what is ok for some may not be for others . At this stage im hoping we can focus on the positives and get back out into the world and do things happily again . Sometimes life is what you make it, small steps for you at the moment but that doesnt mean it will always be like this, dont let this drag you down, make yourself a realistic goal and work towards it . cant recall how old you are, but school kids are far wrose because its a respect and control thing, adults in my opinion dont act this way, Make yoursefl an acheivable goal, like job, or course's or even uni . positive thinking, and small steps, and yes it can be very scary, and constant fear of rejection and hurt may be in the back of your mind, but only you know how far you can push your self each step . Physical activity, walking, going for a run, a bike ride, helps enormously with self esteem and well being . good luck, think positve, dont dwell on what is in the past if you can happen, make for a positive future and happiness . :) beetle	beetle (243)
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