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| Thread ID: 123914 | 2012-03-25 20:33:00 | Monday Laughs..........Mostly Men................ | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1266709 | 2012-03-25 20:33:00 | . . . Kiwi pick up line: A bloke was standing at a bar and a beautiful woman was beside him so he leans over and says, "You remind me of my tiny little toe." "What?" she replies. "Do you mean I'm small and cute?" "Nah!" he says, "I'll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I'm drunk." ********************************* A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely: Are - my - test - results - back?" ********************************* Celibacy: It can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Guidance Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He then addressed the men: 'Can you name and describe your wife's favourite flower?' I leaned over, touched my wife's hand gently, and whispered, ' Edmonds, isn't it?' And thus began my life of celibacy......... ********************************* A religious young woman went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.' The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.' The young woman said, 'I am not yet in holy wedlock, but last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times.' The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?' The priest said, 'No, but it will help wipe that self-satisfied smile off of your face.' ********************************* A man was just waking up from anaesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're beautiful.' Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're cute.' The wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful,' it was now 'cute.' She asked, 'What happened to beautiful?' The man replied, 'the drugs are wearing off.' Cheers Billy 8-{) :) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1266710 | 2012-03-25 20:40:00 | Short but sweet. Thanks Billy | Gobe1 (6290) | ||
| 1266711 | 2012-03-25 20:56:00 | Thanks Billy | gary67 (56) | ||
| 1266712 | 2012-03-25 21:09:00 | Good ones, Billy. | WalOne (4202) | ||
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