Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 124696	2012-05-14 00:44:00	Monday Laughs.......Dentists, exercise and flying high.......by various means.......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1275131	2012-05-14 00:44:00	. . . The Female Dentist ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A guy goes to a Lady dentist to have a tooth extracted, and after he is seated in the chair she pulls out a syringe of anaesthetic to give the man a shot. "No way! No needles. I hate needles" the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man says: " I can't do the gas thing either. The thought of having the gas mask on suffocates me!' The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objections to taking a pill. "No objection," he says. "I'm fine with pills," so the dentist gives him a couple of pills; he swallows them, then asks. "What are they?" "Viagra," says the dentist. "Heck," the patient says, "I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer." "It doesn't" said the dentist, "But it will give you something to hold on to while I'm pulling your tooth." ********************************* Airline Announcements: Part 1 of a short series: United Flight Attendant announcement, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it! ------------------------------------------ On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.' ------------------------------------------ 'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.' ------------------------------------------ An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?' 'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?' The little old lady said, 'Did we land, or were we shot down?' ------------------------------------------ As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella, WHOA!' ------------------------------------------ After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: 'Please take care when opening the overhead compartments, because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that.' ------------------------------------------ Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.' ********************************* Cardiovascular Exercise for the over 50s. ITS NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS Pass to all 50 yrs and older. Cardiovascular Exercise is Important! The older we get the more important it is to incorporate exercise into our daily routine. This is necessary to maintain cardiovascular health and maintain muscle mass. If you're over 50, you might want to take it easy at first, then do more repetitions as you become more proficient and build stamina. Warning: It may be too strenuous for some. Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program! Scroll Down. NOW SCROLL UP........... That's enough for the first day. Great job. Have a glass of Wine. ********************************* A man boarded a plane with six kids. (gutsy guy!) After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are all customer complaints." I wish I could think that quickly!!!! ********************************* Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are now in intensive care.... One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma... Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1275132	2012-05-14 00:52:00	Lol nice one's Billy... gotta love quick thinking! Also the punny last one!	lordnoddy (3645)
1275133	2012-05-14 00:58:00	Love them, especially the airline ones. They reminded me of an AirNZ flight to LA I took a few years ago. The Captain made an announcement that someone had been caught trying to have a smoke in the toilet. He said in these exact words, "there is only one place you may smoke on this aircraft, and that is on the wing, outisde. We would be happy to accommodate anyone with this request!" LL	lakewoodlady (103)
1275134	2012-05-14 01:40:00	Haha thanks Billy	Gobe1 (6290)
1275135	2012-05-14 02:15:00	And my mate just emailed me back after telling him the last joke and said... "they forgot about the 3rd guy because he was Vin Da Loo!"	lordnoddy (3645)
1275136	2012-05-14 08:58:00	Continuing the airline announcement theme Transatlantic jet dropping in to land at New York, Pilot key's his intercom and announces "We will be landing at JFK in 20 minutes, hope you have enjoyed your flight, bye bye now" The pilot then turns to his co-pilot and asks, "what are you doing when we land, Chuck ?" The co-pilot replies I'm after a large steak, then off to bed, how about you ?" The pilot replies, " first thing is to have a crap, then I'm going to have my wicked way with that new blonde air hostess sat in the back" The plane was in uproar, the pilot had left his intercom on. The blonde air hostess gets up and rushes down the aisle to the cockpit. A little old lady catches hold of her arm and say's to her, "No need to hurry dear, he hasn't had his crap yet".	tutaenui (1724)
1275137	2012-05-14 10:30:00	Good laughs.	Bobh (5192)
1275138	2012-05-14 20:57:00	How do you like your new iPad Dad? (www.wimp.com) Short video for you all	gary67 (56)
1275139	2012-05-14 22:41:00	At last someone has found a good use for them Ken :p	kenj (9738)
1