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Thread ID: 22611	2002-07-25 11:55:00	Borg take on Windows	merlin-nz (275)	Press F1

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
65406	2002-07-25 11:55:00	Found upon endless roamming: "Mr . LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr . Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?" >> > "Yes, Captain . In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology . We have found something called 'Microsoft" that may help!" >> > "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?" >> > "Allow me to explain . We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways . Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate . " >> > "But the Borg have the ability to adapt . Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?" >> > "Yes, Captain . But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade' . The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration . The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough . Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions . " >> > "Excellent work . This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric shape' idea . " >> > . . . . 15 Minutes Later . . . >> > "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources . We however have not received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade' . " >> > "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase . " >> > "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if their is something we have missed . " >> > "Sir, I believe their is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade' . Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards . >> > "Captain we have no choice . Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . . " >> > "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !" >> > "Data, what does your scanners show?" >> > "Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity . " >> > "Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their functionality . " >> > . . . . Two Hours Pass . . . >> > "Geordi whats the status on the Borg?" >> > "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack' . >> > "How much time will that buy us ?" >> > "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours . " >> > "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector . " >> > "Identify . " >> > "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo" >> > "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY . WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR . SURREDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE . YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS" >> > "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects . " >> > "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft" >> > "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures of deep space ?!" >> > "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits" >> > "Lawyers !!" >> > "It can't be . All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening . " >> > "True, but appearently some must have survived . " >> > "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers . " >> > "I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' it often proves fatal . " >> > "They're tearing the Borg to pieces !" >> > "Turn off the monitors . I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that . " >> > END	merlin-nz (275)
65407	2002-07-25 12:16:00	LOL! Bloody good show! Gimme pressF1 over telly any day! :^O	Elwin Way (229)
65408	2002-07-25 12:29:00	Excellent! Very funny :D <lol> Thanks merlin-NZ ;)	Rod J (451)
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