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Thread ID: 22854	2002-08-01 00:42:00	Top 8 Morons of 2002	tweak'e (174)	Press F1

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
67187	2002-08-01 00:42:00	Top 8 Morons of 2002 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up." 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!" 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!" 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfor tunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellllllooooooo!) 8. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE ... Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer ... Does any one else find it frightening that the majority of these took place in California?? --------------	tweak'e (174)
67188	2002-08-01 01:44:00	What fun Tweak'e. It could only happen in America, the most advanced nation in the world :)	Terry Porritt (14)
67189	2002-08-01 02:59:00	They are all very funny, although you could have added an extra one there about all the morons who voted for Peter Dunns United Party bcause of the freekin worm	Baldy (26)
67190	2002-08-01 05:40:00	Only in America!!!!!! Great to have a bit of humour Where do you find these items Tweak`e Would agree about voting anyone in simply `cause of the worm. Iris	Iris (475)
67191	2002-08-01 06:12:00	Sadly, these are NOT true. These were going around in '98 and '99. Exactly the same text. Ah well, they are still rather funny.	Wilky (776)
67192	2002-08-01 06:25:00	How do you know they aren't true Wilky? They may have been true back in '98 and were so good that they just keep recirculating . :D When you come to think of it, how does anyone know anything is true unless they actually experienced it themselves? Everything we are told could be complete bullsh*t for all we know . But I digress . . . this post is supposed to make us laugh . And I did . Thanks tweak'e . :D	Susan B (19)
67193	2002-08-01 06:30:00	This is the sort of news collected and reprinted in the "Fortean" magazine. Private Eye often has some good ones too. Many are urban legends. The Internet has got lots of that. But of course so do the daily newspapers. They even quote politicians.	Graham L (2)
67194	2002-08-01 08:07:00	> They are all very funny, although you could have > added an extra one there about all the morons who > voted for Peter Dunns United Party bcause of the > freekin worm Be careful not to get too much into politics here Baldy... I voted for United Future because the people in that party incredibly moral, honest, and trustworthy. Why do I say this? Because I personally know half the of the 9 new MPs, plus some of the guys behind the scenes in the party. Mike.	Mike (15)
67195	2002-08-01 09:00:00	You political animal Mike LOL I have no doubt that the United Future MPs are what you say, but if it had not been for the worm, I doubt whether they would have been in the Beehive. The next 3 years arre going to be VERY interesting	Baldy (26)
67196	2002-08-01 09:05:00	> You political animal Mike LOL > > I have no doubt that the United Future MPs are what > you say, but if it had not been for the worm, I doubt > whether they would have been in the Beehive. personally, I think half of them would have, going by how Future New Zealand rated at the last election (4.5% - not quite enough to get in), whereas United (Peter Dunne) only got like .7%... they joined together and got voters for both parties, and the worm maybe added a couple more %. :) yeah, I am a political animal :) > The next 3 years arre going to be VERY interesting better United Future than the Greens, if you ask me :) Mike.	Mike (15)
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