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Thread ID: 22893	2002-08-02 00:41:00	Friday funny	Susan B (19)	Press F1

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
67450	2002-08-02 00:41:00	Why did the Chicken cross the Road? PLATO : For the greater good. ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. FREUD : The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. DARWIN : Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. BUDDHA : Asking this question denies your chicken nature. MARTIN LUTHER KING : I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. CAPTAIN KIRK : To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die, in the rain. BILL GATES : I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your chequebook. HOMER SIMPSON : Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chicken. COLONEL SANDERS : I missed one !! and finally............ KINDERGARTEN TEACHER : To get to the other side. :D :D :D	Susan B (19)
67451	2002-08-02 00:44:00	> BILL GATES : I have just released the new > Chicken Office 2000, which will > not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your > important documents and > balance your chequebook. Susan, any reason why Bill Gates is in bold? Is it an automatic thing of Microsoft browsers or OSs that make his name come up in bold? Or are you just so in love with him that you can't help but draw attention to his name? :D Mike. ;-)	Mike (15)
67452	2002-08-02 00:48:00	:O :O :O Internet Explorer did that, it wasn't me!!! Right, that's it! Where's that Opera I downloaded the other day....?	Susan B (19)
67453	2002-08-02 00:53:00	> :O :O :O > > Internet Explorer did that, it wasn't me!!! > > Right, that's it! Where's that Opera I downloaded the > other day....? don't say that too loud, or Windows might stop responding altogether :) Mike.	Mike (15)
67454	2002-08-02 01:21:00	Andersen Consulting: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.	godfather (25)
67455	2002-08-02 01:43:00	Elwin Way: Because the chicken was sick and tired of having to put up with inferior hardware and software, and the roadside crashing all the time. So in frustration, the chicken decided to throw compatibility issues to the wind, and go to the other side of the road in an attempt at making its life easier, even with the knowledge that getting comfortable on the other side of the road could mean going back to the original side of the road to sort out issues with the other roadside. However, once these issues are sorted, and the chicken is comfortable and the new roadside is working satisfactory, the chicken then can get rid of the road altogether.	Elwin Way (229)
67456	2002-08-02 01:52:00	All I want to know is what road did the chicken cross?	dipstick01 (445)
67457	2002-08-02 02:21:00	dipstick, it was Fowl Crossing Road of course...	Susan B (19)
67458	2002-08-02 02:24:00	Katherine McKinnon: Because, in this patriarchial state, for the last four centuries, men have applied their principles of justice in determining how chickens should be cared for, their language has demeaned the identity of the chicken, their technonogy and trucks have decided how and where chickens will be distributed, their science has become the basis for what chickens eat, their sense of humor has provided the framework for this joke, their art and film have given us our perception of chicken life, their lust for flesh has has made the chicken the most consumned animal in the US, and their legal system has left the chicken with no other recourse . Stephen Jay Gould: It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation . Joseph Stalin: I don't care . Catch it . I need its eggs to make my omlette . Malcolm X: It was coming home to roost . Louis Farrakkan: It wasn't one chicken, you lying white devils! It was TEN MILLION chickens!	Susan B (19)
67459	2002-08-02 02:28:00	Three-Legged Chickens A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him. The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. So he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?" The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how they tasted. The farmer said, "Don't know, haven't caught one yet." Guess what Susan B is having for dinner tonight?:D	Susan B (19)
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