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Thread ID: 23108	2002-08-07 09:06:00	moving windows to another partition	teachme (302)	Press F1

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
69124	2002-08-09 11:32:00	Aahhhhh the Goons.... I must go down to the sea again The lonely sea and the sky I left my shoes and socks there I wonder if they're dry! S.M He's fallen in the warta...!!!! Now here's a site {url=http://www.residents.com/Goons/]Goon_Scripts[/url] Babe.	Babe Ruth (416)
69125	2002-08-09 11:33:00	TOYOTA!! the Preview and Post Message.... Aahhhhh the Goons.... I must go down to the sea again The lonely sea and the sky I left my shoes and socks there I wonder if they're dry! S.M He's fallen in the warta...!!!! Now here's a site Goon_Scripts (www.residents.com) Babe.	Babe Ruth (416)
69126	2002-08-09 11:43:00	Babe Ruth. Ha Ha the Toyota, I am not the only double poster after all. Thanks for the goons site, have put in my favourites Minnie Poppa John :D	Poppa John (284)
69127	2002-08-09 11:49:00	B.M. Which wife? He had more than one didn't he? No I don't know what the "whatsits" are, do tell. Poppa John	Poppa John (284)
69128	2002-08-09 11:54:00	Baldy, Ying Tong. Yeah vaguely, probably Spike seeing as he was an Aussie. Holyoake perhaps? Wondering Poppa John:D pS Anybody know who it was?? PJ	Poppa John (284)
69129	2002-08-09 12:39:00	Of course then there was Monty Python . . . Monty Python's Pet Shop / Parrot Sketch (a customer enters a pet shop) Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint . (the owner does not respond) Customer: 'Ello, Miss? Owner: What do you mean "miss"? Customer: (pause) I'm sorry, I have a cold . I wish to make a complaint! Owner: We're closin' for lunch . Customer: Never mind that, my lad . I wish to complain about this parrot that I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique . Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue . . . What's, uh . . . What's wrong with it? Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad . 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! Owner: No, no, 'e's uh, . . . he's resting . Customer: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now . Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage! Customer: The plumage don't enter into it . It's stone dead . Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting! Customer: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show . . . (owner hits the cage) Owner: There, he moved! Customer: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage! Owner: I never!! Customer: Yes, you did! Owner: I never, never did anything . . . Customer: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! (takes the parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter, then throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor) Customer: Now that's what I call a dead parrot . Owner: No, no . . . . . No, 'e's stunned! Customer: STUNNED?!? Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major . Customer: Um . . . now look . . . now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this . That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk . Owner: Well, he's . . . he's, ah . . . probably pining for the fjords . Customer: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home? Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, squire? Lovely plumage! Customer: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there . (pause) Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee! Customer: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised! Owner: No no! 'E's pining! Customer: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!! (pause) Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then . (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Owner: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots . Customer: I see . I see, I get the picture . Owner: (thinks) I got a slug . (pause) Customer: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk? Owner: Nnnnot really . Customer: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!? **************** You've gotta love it **************** Cheers, Babe	Babe Ruth (416)
69130	2002-08-09 23:32:00	That was hilarious! Almost as good as the "geocities" round :)	Greg S (201)
69131	2002-08-10 00:16:00	Well done Babe . Back in post, er . . . a while ago (this thread has grown a tad!) I was refering to an argument - a slightly different sketch . However, as I'm sharper than the average marble I knew what you meant hehe . :-) It goes something like this . . . . <knock knock> Man: Come in . Customer: Is this the right room for an argument? Man: I've told you once . Customer: No you haven't! Man: Yes I have . Customer: When? Man: Just now . Customer: No you didn't! M: Yes I did! C: You didn't! M: I did! C: You didn't! M: I'm telling you, I did! C: You did not! M: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour? C: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes . M: Just the five minutes . Thank you . M: Anyway, I did . C: You most certainly did not! M: Now let's get one thing quite clear: I most definitely told you! C: Oh no you didn't! C: look, this isn't an argument! (pause) M: Yes it is! C: No it isn't! . . . . . . . . . . goes on a tad but I'm sure you get the gist . cheers Parry	parry (27)
69132	2002-08-10 00:23:00	Like it Parry, Then there is the following take-off based on The Dead Parrot Sketch, Monty Python Originally found in the Scary Devil Monastery, and is at least computer related: Customer: hi, our T1 is dead Telco: can you give us the circuit number? Customer: well, the bill says it is #97HCFS863998, but the box on the wall is labelled #97HCFS863801 Telco: please describe for me why you think it is down . ` Customer: because it is dead . it is down . it is not functioning Telco: No, no, it's uh, it's resting Customer: Look matey, I know a dead T1 when I see it, and I'm looking at one right now . Telco: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable line, the T1, idn'it, ay? Beautiful bits! Customer: The bits don't enter into it . It's stone dead . Telco: Nonononono, no, no . It's resting . Customer: All right then, if it's resting, I'll wake it up . ELLO, MISTER TELLY T1! I've got a lovely fresh news spool for you if you show . Telco: See- it's working! Customer: No it isn't- that was you . Telco: I never! Customer: Yes, you did! Telco: I never did anything . Customer: ELLO T1!!!! TESTING TESTING TESTING! This is your 9 o'clock cron job download! Now that's what I call a dead T1! Telco: No, no, you stunned it . Customer: STUNNED!? Telco: Yeah- you stunned it just as it was starting to accept packets . T1s stun easily, major . Customer: Um, now look mate . I've had enough of this . This T1 is definitely deceased, and when we hooked it up not more than a day ago, you assured me that its total inability to transmit was due to it being tired and shagged out after trying to pull across all of alt . binaries . pictures . erotica . really . really . nasty last night . Telco: Well, it's , ah, it's just pining for the ARPANET . Customer: PINING FOR THE ARPANET?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it drop every packet as soon as we plugged it into this Sparc? Telco: The T1 prefers to drop packets from a Sparc . Remarkable line, isn't it . Lovely bits . Customer: Look, I took the liberty of dissassembling the smartjack last night, and found that the only reason that it looked like it was working it because you'd wired the lights to a battery . Telco: Well, of course . If we hadn't, it might have burned the whole smartjack out-VOOM VOOM! Customer: VOOM? Mate, this line wouldn't voom if you put four million volts through it . It's bleeding demised! Telco: No, no, it's pining . Customer: It's not pining, it's passed on! This line is not working! It has ceased to transmit! Bereft of data, it lies in peace . If you hadn't wired the lights it would have been recycled . It carries 0MB/sec! It's no longer functional- it's shuffled off the backbone and gone to meet its maker . THIS IS AN EX-T1! Telco: Well, we better fix it then . 'Fraid we're all out of working T1s . Avi . I see, I see . I get the picture Telco: I've got an AOL disk and a 2400 baud modem . Customer: Pray, does it work? Telco: Nnnnot really . . . Customer: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!? ***************** Cheers, Babe .	Babe Ruth (416)
69133	2002-08-10 00:35:00	Super stuff. So timeless it has many guises huh. Well must stop looking at this screen and get outside. A beautiful day here in Wgtn and days like these need to be savored. I will join the other Wellingtonians in pointing at the sky shouting "whats that yellow thing?" cheers parry.	parry (27)
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