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| Thread ID: 125520 | 2012-07-03 14:45:00 | What Do You Get ------ | SurferJoe46 (51) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1285740 | 2012-07-03 14:45:00 | Q: What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? A: You can’t cross a vector with a scalar! I know - I actually posted THAT . Sorry . I have a lot more class than that - but it's AM:early here and I was impressionable for the moment . It was a moment of weakness . It was also before coffee . And waffles . And sausage patties . I promise to not do that again . Maybe . |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 1285741 | 2012-07-03 14:58:00 | OK - I can't resist the urge again::: Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference . At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket . "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers . "Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers . They all board the train . The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them . Shortly after the train as departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets . He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please . " The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand . The conductor takes it and moves on . The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea . So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money . When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip . To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all . "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed lawyer . "Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers . When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby . The train departs . Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding . He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please . " I dood it again . Sorry again . |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 1285742 | 2012-07-03 15:03:00 | One last time and THEN I'll quit::: Engineering Department Answers To Sales Department: 1 . A number of different approaches are being tried . (We don’t know where we’re going, but we’re moving . ) 2 . Close project coordination . (We should have asked someone else . ) 3 . An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem . (We just hired 3 guys . We’ll let them kick it around for a while . ) 4 . Major technological breakthrough . (Back to the drawing board . ) 5 . Customer satisfaction believed assured . (We’re so far behind schedule that the customer is happy to get anything at all from us . ) 6 . Preliminary operational test were inconclusive . (The power supply blew up when we threw the switch!) 7 . The test results were extremely gratifying . (It works and boy are we surprised . ) 8 . The entire concept will have to be abandoned . (The only guy who understood the thing quit . ) 9 . It is in the process . (It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless . ) 10 . We will look into it . (By the time the wheel makes a full turn, we will assume you have forgotten about it . ) 11 . Please note and initial . (Let’s spread the responsibility for this job . ) 12 . Give us the benefit of your thinking . (We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we have already done . ) 13 . Give us your interpretation . (Your warped opinion will be pitted against our good sense . ) 14 . See me, or Let’s discuss . (Come down to my office, I’m lonesome . ) 15 . All new . (Parts not interchangeable with previous design . ) 16 . Rugged . (Too heavy to lift . ) 17 . Lightweight . (Lighter than rugged . ) 18 . Years of development . (Finally got one that worked . ) 19 . Energy saving . (Achieved when the power switch is off . ) 20 . No maintenance . (Impossible to fix!) |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 1285743 | 2012-07-03 21:16:00 | Joe, Joe, Joe. Oh dear.... | Nick G (16709) | ||
| 1285744 | 2012-07-03 22:36:00 | I like the Lawyer / Engineer one. | dugimodo (138) | ||
| 1285745 | 2012-07-03 23:56:00 | I like the algebra one | BBCmicro (15761) | ||
| 1285746 | 2012-07-04 00:55:00 | Q: What do you get when you cross a contortionist with a clairvoyant A: One who can foresee his own end |
Dally (6292) | ||
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