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Thread ID: 28282 2002-12-15 09:50:00 *Have Yourself a Microsoft Christmas* Steve Askew (119) Press F1
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106290 2002-12-15 09:50:00 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
The stockings were hung by the modem with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas would bring new software.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads.
PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com
Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.

All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way
From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin jeans.
The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.
More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you're all of you through,
It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist,
It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist -
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"
And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,
As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.

As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voices so bright,

"A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"
Steve Askew (119)
106291 2002-12-15 10:08:00 Not bad, not bad at all................. duckyduck (197)
106292 2002-12-15 11:39:00 Nice, much better than "Have a merry Briscoes" -=JM=- (16)
106293 2002-12-15 18:34:00 That's a good one...
Seem's that Microsoft's plan to get kids at a young age has worked on me :D
I'm an avid Microsoft User


CyberChuck
cyberchuck (173)
106294 2002-12-15 20:11:00 >>Seem's that Microsoft's plan to get kids at a young age has worked on me
I'm an avid Microsoft User

WAKE UP then.:D There are endless (limited) lists of alternatives which work better or show improvements over MS.
For one you could try Linux. :-)
Secondly, just because Bill gives a browser and email client with windows, does not mean you have to use it.]:)
Finally, you will find ahellufalotta OPEN-SOURCE software out there, which has already been fixed before the bug has been found:p

Take care, and burn any MS logos:p

radz:DG):p
raddersnz (684)
106295 2002-12-15 20:20:00 Hey

I am aware of Linux alternatives... Just purchased a copy of Redhat 8 the other day to use on my servers (once I get them sorted out). Also I'm currently downloading Yoppix off the NZ server (I plan on getting a Linux test PC to muck around with different distro's on it)

Secondly.. I have no problem with Microsoft incorporating a browser, email client, OS, and any other freebee's into one handy-dandy-package... Saves me time and hassle (except on Windows Updates)

Burn any MS logo's??? hmm... I suppose I could edit the splash screens in a GIF animator or something like that, and then save them with the Welcome to Windows or whatever it is getting burnt out...


CyberChuck
cyberchuck (173)
106296 2002-12-15 20:21:00 i like it:):)


Synchronised_Thoughts
Synchronised_Thoughts (2589)
106297 2002-12-15 21:34:00 It worked on me for a while but I saw the light many years ago. :) segfault (655)
106298 2002-12-15 22:13:00 I saw the light last Sunday.... and failed many attempts to install Red Hat on an old computer. So now I'll stick with a mix of Windows and Linux distros (particularly Red Hat). agent (30)
106299 2002-12-15 22:54:00 ooh i love it!!!!
i'm not a fan, but Microsoft is like Telecom for many of us. We are aware of the alternatives but don't have the time, resources or patience to change.

jeez i hope i don't sound like a micro-lover...cos im not :P i wish i had the interlectuall capacity to install linux and have a dual boot-y thang, but alas i don't :) anyone willing to show me and educate me is free to do so :)


Tones
tones_malones (611)
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