Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 127435	2012-10-22 09:16:00	Monday Laughs............Clear-out of snippets +1.................	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1308140	2012-10-22 09:16:00	. . Ladies, if a man says he'll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every six months about it! ****************************** I heard a guy complaining about how expensive his wedding was. He's going to be really pissed off when he finds out how much his divorce is going to cost. ****************************** My Mother-in-law is coming to stay...... I had to clear out half of my wardrobe so she could have a place to hang upside down and sleep. ****************************** NASA's robotic vehicle Curiosity has landed on Mars. Early pictures show no sign of Rugby, beer, motor racing or porn. This makes it quite clear that men are not from Mars. ****************************** My sex life is like a Ferrari..... I don't have a Ferrari. ****************************** I'm writing a book about reverse psychology.... Please don't buy it. ****************************** Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes....... ****************************** It is funny when my wife gives me the 'silent treatment'. She thinks it is a punishment. ****************************** I once won an argument with a woman....... It was in this dream that I had. ****************************** I want one of those jobs where people ask, "Do you actually get paid for doing this?" ****************************** If your wife or girlfriend ever asks, "If I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never giver two names! ****************************** And finally, one for those who like a more narrative story line to their jokes............... You don't find many heroes like my mate Don!!!! On July 15th, a group of hard-core bikers were riding south on State Highway 1 when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they pulled over and stopped. Don, a man's man of 30-something, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers and past the local Police Sergeant, then asks the girl, "So, what are you doing?"" She says, "I'm going to commit suicide." While he didn't want to appear "insensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either, so he asked ...... "Well, if you've made up your mind then, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one. After they finished, Don gets a cheer of approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the local police officer, and he says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. So, why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl." It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed." Cheers Billy 8-{) :) Patience people, patience. I have a wife and family who like holiday breaks too, and Monday Laughs does not always appear early in the day, in fact after public holidays it often appears on Tuesday.	Billy T (70)
1308141	2012-10-22 09:40:00	Good bedtime reading after a long hard day at work.	Bobh (5192)
1308142	2012-10-22 20:50:00	Mother Inlaw one was brilliant :thumbs: Thanks Billy errr.... didnt the last joke cause a bit of a stink here recently??	Gobe1 (6290)
1308143	2012-10-22 21:02:00	Thanks Billy, brilliant as always.	Nick G (16709)
1308144	2012-10-22 23:28:00	Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .. The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.' Mujibar said, 'I am ready.' The manager said, 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green .' Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes green, green, And I pink it up, and say, Yellow, this is Mujibar.' Mujibar now works at a call centre. No doubt you have spoken to him. I know I have.	Cicero (40)
1308145	2012-10-23 02:33:00	Very good Cicero. There is a sense of humour in that old head. ;)	Richard (739)
1308146	2012-10-23 04:00:00	Very good Cicero. There is a sense of humour in that old head. ;) That would suggest that you may have thought otherwise. ?	Cicero (40)
1308147	2012-10-23 07:19:00	Great jokes guys. Billy that last one is well...a little old and over used. The rest were funny though.	ChazTheGeek (16619)
1308148	2012-10-23 08:04:00	No pleasing everyone.	Cicero (40)
1308149	2012-10-24 08:03:00	Thanks to fossils, archaeologists have been able to determine that there once a genetic mutation millions of year ago, causing the creation of a five-legged dinosaur. As far as we know, this is the first evidence we have ever seen of a reptile dysfunction. *************************** A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What in the world have you been eating?” The man replies, “All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious…Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything—meat, toast, fish, vegetables…everything.” “Well,” says the dentist, “that has to be the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive.” “But what can I do, doc? I don’t want to give up my Hollandaise sauce.” “Not to worry. I’ll make you a new plate, but this time I’ll use chrome.” “Chrome? Why chrome?” “Oh, don’t you know? There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!”	WalOne (4202)
1 2 3 4