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Thread ID: 127864	2012-11-18 23:02:00	Monday Laughs...... Be Kind To Southerners Week (Hope you haven't forgotten the pig)	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1313243	2012-11-18 23:02:00	. . . Florida A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding -- a reason I've never heard before -- I'll let you go." The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back. "Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper. ~~~~~~~ Georgia The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but mah earrings." ~~~~~~~ Louisiana A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world." ~~~~~~~ Mississippi The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." ~~~~~~~ North Carolina A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I got a flat tahr." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flahrs in the front and flahrs in the back. I never did understand it neither." ~~~~~~~ Tennessee A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?" ~~~~~~~ Texas The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep," he replied. "Thet's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it sez: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' " ~~~~~~~ Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North. SB: R2x1 ********************************* A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them toJerusalem. A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.' ********************************* My wife was screaming at me: "Leave!! Get out of this house!" she ordered. As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!" So I turned around and replied "So now you want me to stay?" ********************************* The phone rings, and the wife answers. A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?" Woman replies, "Yes, he's lying on the couch watching TV - who shall I say is calling?" Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
1313244	2012-11-19 00:21:00	Quick witted passerby gives the owner the number plate of his stolen pickup truck. Well thought out. Some good laughs, thanks.	Bobh (5192)
1313245	2012-11-19 00:47:00	Yay! Monday again... The laughs always helps me get through... cheers Billy T!	lordnoddy (3645)
1313246	2012-11-19 00:54:00	Yippee my day off is complete	gary67 (56)
1313247	2012-11-19 01:09:00	Yippee my day off is complete People with days off aren't allowed to read Monday Laughs... :P It's to cheer us poor sods that have to be at work all day :D	lordnoddy (3645)
1313248	2012-11-19 01:10:00	People with days off aren't allowed to read Monday Laughs... :P It's to cheer us poor sods that have to be at work all day :D I have to work Saturdays instead so it's to make up for ruining my weekend	gary67 (56)
1313249	2012-11-19 01:15:00	I have to work Saturdays instead so it's to make up for ruining my weekend Fair enough then... At least it wasn't a beautiful day on Saturday - so you didn't miss out on anything =D	lordnoddy (3645)
1313250	2012-11-19 01:20:00	Brilliant stuff thanks again Billy	Gobe1 (6290)
1313251	2012-11-19 01:43:00	. The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flahrs in the front and flahrs in the back. I never did understand it neither." Nope, can't figure out what flahrs are supposed to be.	pctek (84)
1313252	2012-11-19 01:52:00	People with days off aren't allowed to read Monday Laughs... :P It's to cheer us poor sods that have to be at work all day :D I worked on Saturday and I also have today off. Do I have to unread the jokes. :crying My cat says no.	Bobh (5192)
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