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| Thread ID: 128109 | 2012-12-03 02:40:00 | Monday Laughs.......... Predominantly another whack at the Irish.......... | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1316138 | 2012-12-03 20:09:00 | Why, what were you cooking for dinner? +1 haha *** Why do men take showers instead of baths? Pi$$ing in the bath is disgusting. *** Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time. *** Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Ford, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention, the assembly line for the automobile, changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven." Ford thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, himself." The befeathered fellow at the gate takes Ford to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Ford then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?" God says, "Ah, yes." "Well," says Ford, You have some major design flaws in your invention: l. There's too much front end protrusion 2. It chatters at high speeds 3. The rear end wobbles too much, and 4. The intake is placed to close to the exhaust." "Hmmm.." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it. "It may be that my invention is flawed," God replies to Henry Ford, "but according to my Computer, more men are riding my invention than yours." |
lordnoddy (3645) | ||
| 1316139 | 2012-12-03 22:10:00 | Get well soon, Mrs T! Hope you're coping okay, too, Billy. + 1 |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1316140 | 2012-12-03 23:50:00 | +1 | ChazTheGeek (16619) | ||
| 1316141 | 2012-12-04 00:18:00 | lol the above 2 comments confirming requirement of the "+1" button.... | lordnoddy (3645) | ||
| 1316142 | 2012-12-04 04:04:00 | +1 | ChazTheGeek (16619) | ||
| 1316143 | 2012-12-04 07:54:00 | +1 Thank you all for your kind comments. I am delighted to report that Mrs T is back home again and tucked up snugly in bed. It will take wrist ropes and ankle clamps to keep her there if she has to lie low for more than two or three days, but I'll be doing my best! The final outcome of her op was a great success, once a few hiccups had been ironed out, so it is onwards and upwards. Cheers Billy |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1316144 | 2012-12-04 08:10:00 | Thank you all for your kind comments. I am delighted to report that Mrs T is back home again and tucked up snugly in bed. It will take wrist ropes and ankle clamps to keep her there if she has to lie low for more than two or three days, but I'll be doing my best! The final outcome of her op was a great success, once a few hiccups had been ironed out, so it is onwards and upwards. Cheers Billy Good to hear Billy. If you play the game right she may get to enjoy a bit of bondage.:D |
mikebartnz (21) | ||
| 1316145 | 2012-12-04 20:36:00 | Good to hear Billy. If you play the game right she may get to enjoy a bit of bondage.:D Want to borry my Fluffy Handcuffs? Er I mean... I don't own a pair of those... :D |
lordnoddy (3645) | ||
| 1316146 | 2012-12-06 05:19:00 | Bit of a laugh here.......... Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played Amazing Grace, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothing like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years." Apparently I'm still lost....it's a guy thing. |
Cicero (40) | ||
| 1316147 | 2012-12-06 06:26:00 | :D :D I love this joke!! | ChazTheGeek (16619) | ||
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