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| Thread ID: 35430 | 2003-07-12 14:10:00 | Microsoft Releases Patch | hamstar (4) | Press F1 |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 159164 | 2003-07-12 14:10:00 | Microsoft today released their latest patch for the Windows Operating System. It works on all platfoms of Windows and best of all the user does not have to worry about downloading and installing the patch. What happens is, Microsofts harmless worm, forcefeed.worm.W32, homes in on any internet bound computers using the Microsoft Windows Operating System. Once it has found it's host, it sends a homing beacon out to the Microsoft server, and then proceeds to replicate itself, and enter address books and networks. Once the Microsoft server has recieved this beacon, a small installer is sent to the users omputer by way of another worm, carrier.worm.W32. This installer convieniently installs out of the users way, and then links up to the Microsoft server and begins to download the 84 megabyte patch. Best of all this installer/downloader can only take 4 Kilobytes a second of download speed, no matter the system. Once the patch installs, it uses a hidden log to log every single website the user has been to and every program and file that has been used, installed, or unistalled. This is sent off to Microsoft periodically and will help Microsoft utilize optimization patches specifically tailored to the programs the user uses. Also the patch uses special software to utilize the metal fins of the Intel processors heatsink. What happens is the Intel processor charges the heatsink with negatively charged eons which reacts with natural particles, such as dust, to create low amplitude radiowaves. These radiowaves can be subconciously read by the hyperthalimus, the lower part of the brain, and converted into subconcious actions that beckon the user to buy only Microsoft and Microsoft Certified software. It also makes the user want to buy the latest Microsoft Windows Operating System and never want any other Operating System. Errors that arise with any Microsoft program no longer worry the user as they simply brush them away with a mouse click. Microsoft say that this patch will make sure users get, the most out of their computer, and only quality software. |
hamstar (4) | ||
| 159165 | 2003-07-12 15:13:00 | :D | Chilling_Silently (228) | ||
| 159166 | 2003-07-12 15:13:00 | lol. A joke right? Source? | PoWa (203) | ||
| 159167 | 2003-07-13 00:30:00 | >These radiowaves can be subconciously read by the hyperthalimus, the lower part of the brain, and converted into subconcious actions that beckon the user to buy only Microsoft and Microsoft Certified software. It also makes the user want to buy the latest Microsoft Windows Operating System and never want any other Operating System. Errors that arise with any Microsoft program no longer worry the user as they simply brush them away with a mouse click. Hmm ... I can see that Microsoft will be shortly releasing a patch for this patch when the said "radiowaves" gets read by the hypothalamus, and instead of inducing a strong bond with all Microsoft products by the production ACTH (reduces your stress levels associated with MS products), it also fires off a signal to the pituitary gland located right next door which in turn starts pumping out the hormone prolactin. The side effect of this Microsoft patch will cause male geeks around the world a great deal of concern which I doubt the ACTH could ever overcome :D |
Jen C (20) | ||
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