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Thread ID: 128384	2012-12-16 21:42:00	Monday Laughs..... In recognition of aging, starting soon in a body you're close to!	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1318654	2012-12-16 22:35:00	Awesome Billy - I'm off on leave the next 2 weeks too so good to know I wont miss ML's. Congrats to the Daughter also! You know I just got through sending Billy a PM volunteering you, don't you? ;)	WalOne (4202)
1318655	2012-12-16 22:50:00	You know I just got through sending Billy a PM volunteering you, don't you? ;) I don't think I could fill those shoes... My feet are far too small... (and NO don't insert any *small* jokes here!)	lordnoddy (3645)
1318656	2012-12-16 23:03:00	Thanks for the humour over the year Billy, enjoy yourself and good luck to you all for next year	Whenu (9358)
1318657	2012-12-16 23:17:00	I don't think I could fill those shoes... My feet are far too small... (and NO don't insert any *small* jokes here!) Ahh, the temptation ... get thee behind me, Satan :devil	WalOne (4202)
1318658	2012-12-17 00:10:00	I am really concerned about my elderly parents who are living in Michigan... I just got off the phone with my father who is up north right now at his little cottage. He said that the snow is nearly waist high. The temperature is at minus 10 degrees and the snow is still dropping... The wind is increasing to near gale force. Even the plows are having a hard time getting around, some trees are down too. The roads are closed, and alerts are on all the TV and radio stations urging people to stay off the highway. He said my mom has done nothing but look through the window for hours on end, just staring. He says he's concerned that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in. ------------------------------------------------- An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. "Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me. Love, Dad." A few days later he received a letter from his son… "Dear Dad, Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the bodies. Love, Vinnie." At 4:00 AM the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. The next day the old man received another letter from his son. "Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, hereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk shouts, "Yes, oi am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?" The drunk replies, "No, oi haven't found Jesus!" The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, me brother?" The drunk answers, "No, oi haven't found Jesus!" By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again -- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?" The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he bloody fell in?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The old man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.” Once again, the old man just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police. The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy what’s your name?” “Fred,” the old man moaned. “Where ya from, Fred?” asked the police officer. With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, “The balcony…”	pctek (84)
1318659	2012-12-17 00:13:00	Merry Christmas Billy & Mrs B T & young Miss B T & young Master B T (still in remote unphoneable land?) Enjoy your holiday in Australia, give Miss B T a big congratulations hug, and here's hoping you have a wonderful stressfree New Year!	coldot (6847)
1318660	2012-12-17 00:16:00	Ahh, the temptation ... get thee behind me, Satan :devil Like one lady I offered a drink at a bar once and she said "I'll accept the drink if you have $1 million in the bank, drive a BMW and have 7" in your pants" I replied with "I don't have $1 mil I have 15, I don't drive a BMW I drive a Lambo and have a Porche in the garage and not even for the most beautiful woman would I cut 3" off!"	lordnoddy (3645)
1318661	2012-12-17 00:46:00	I was visiting my son and family last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. “This is the 21st century, old man,” he said. “We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad.” I can tell you, that stupid fly never knew what hit it!	tutaenui (1724)
1318662	2012-12-17 00:53:00	All the best Billy and congratulate your daughter from me.	mikebartnz (21)
1318663	2012-12-17 01:07:00	Apple announced today that it had developed a breast implant that could store and play music. The I-boob would cost from $499 to $899 depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because woman are always complaining of men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.	tutaenui (1724)
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