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Thread ID: 128499	2012-12-23 20:40:00	Monday Laughs - the Christmas Eve Edition	WalOne (4202)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1319969	2012-12-26 05:59:00	A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tommorrow, rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow, storm." The next day there was a hailstorm. "This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?" The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio broke."	pctek (84)
1319970	2012-12-26 09:49:00	THE CHURCH DINNER! A group of friends who all attended the same church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialise, and play games. They would meet in each home in rotation and the resident/s of that house were to provide a meal. When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to do something special. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But when she checked at the local greengrocer she was shocked at the cost of their mushrooms. Regretfully she told her husband, "Mushrooms are out. They're too expensive." He said, "Why don't you go down in the back paddock and pick some of those mushrooms. There are plenty down near the creek." She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison." He said, "Well, I see rabbits eating them and they don't seem to suffer any ill effects." So Janet decided to give it a try.. She picked a basket full, then washed, peeled and sliced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back verandah and gave Ol' Spot (the dog) a dish of the mushrooms. Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them. The meal was a great success. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialised, and played '21' and dominoes. But then a neighbour knocked on the door and said, Mrs Williams I am sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings but Ol' Spot is dead." Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.." Soon an ambulance arrived. The paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, each person was taken into the bathroom and given an enema. Then his or her stomach was pumped out. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left. They were all looking pretty weak as they sat around the living room . The neighbour, who had stayed at the house through all the drama, sank into a seat beside Janet. "You know," she said" that fellow who ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped."	R2x1 (4628)
1319971	2012-12-26 20:41:00	:lol::lol::lol:	WalOne (4202)
1319972	2012-12-26 23:20:00	Remembering the 1960’s It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1961 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue . He arrived at her house and rang the bell . 'Oh, come on in!' Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in . 'Have a seat in the living room . Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?' 'Iced tea, please,' Fred said . Mum brought in the iced tea . 'So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?' she asked . 'Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach . . ' 'Peggy likes to screw, you know,' Mum informed him . 'Really?' Fred replied, his eyebrows rising . 'Oh yes,' the mother continued, 'When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do! Screw, again and again!!' 'Is that so?' asked Fred, incredulous . 'Yes,' said the mother . 'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!' 'Well, thanks for the tip!' Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening . A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture, wearing a pink blouse and a hooped skirt and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail . She greeted Fred . 'Have fun, kids!' the mother said as they left . Two hours later, a completely dishevelled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her . "The Twist, Mum!" she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen . . . "The dance is called the Twist!!!" :D	WalOne (4202)
1319973	2012-12-27 23:57:00	I went fishing one morning but after a short time I ran out of prawns Then I saw a red belly black with a frog in his mouth . Frogs are good barra bait . Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket . Now the problem was how to release the snake without getting bitten . So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth . His eyes rolled back, he went limp . I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog . A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot . It was that snake, with two more frogs .	WalOne (4202)
1319974	2012-12-29 00:20:00	Last post for Christmas, folks - Why Red Wine is so important at Christmas 4627 Look for Monday Laughs again - the New Years Eve Edition. Coming to a computer screen near you - Monday! :D	WalOne (4202)
1319975	2012-12-29 03:47:00	Haha love this thread guys thanks heaps! Wal - that red wine one is epic cheers!	lordnoddy (3645)
1319976	2012-12-30 08:57:00	The old Indian Chief was feeling his age, with sundry aches and pains making his life miserable. On the urging of his wife, he visited the Medicine Man. "Well Chief, you have what is called 'Too many past skinfuls' and things have caught up with you. I will make up a remedy, come by in the morning and it will be ready". Next morning the Chief dutifully reported and was given a long thong of buffalo hide reeking of extremely bad news. "Take this thong Chief and chew it thoroughly, the nine secret herbs and spices will cast out your ailments and you will be cured". The Chief took his thong and went home. For six weeks he dutifully chewed the thong, three hours in the morning and another three hours of serious mastication in the evening. Finally, he reported to the Medicine Man again. "How, Chief?" "Bad, Medicine Man; very bad. The thong is ended but the malady lingers on".	R2x1 (4628)
1319977	2012-12-30 10:04:00	Haha love this thread guys thanks heaps! Wal - that red wine one is epic cheers! +2 hahhahahahahaaaa	Gobe1 (6290)
1319978	2012-12-30 10:12:00	(The was funny at the time) SWMBO said she's going to be completely organised this year :lol: :lol:	wainuitech (129)
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