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Thread ID: 36957 2003-08-24 08:27:00 OT.A little Sunday humour. Thomas (1820) Press F1
Post ID Timestamp Content User
170142 2003-08-24 08:27:00 Think the last one is my favorite .
me
. .

TEACHER: Why are you late?

BALGOBIN: Because of the sign .

TEACHER: What sign?

BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow . "


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TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?

BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!


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TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?

BALGOBIN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!


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TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America .

BALGOBIN: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct . Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Balgobin!


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TEACHER: Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago .

BALGOBIN: Me!


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TEACHER: Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?

BALGOBIN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are .


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BALGOBIN: Dad, can you write in the dark?

FATHER: I think so . What do you want me to write?

BALGOBIN: Your name on this report card .


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TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

BALGOBIN: Don't bite any .


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TEACHER: Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I" .

BALGOBIN: I is . . .

TEACHER: No, Balgobin . Always say, "I am . "

BALGOBIN: All right . . . "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet . "


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TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

BALGOBIN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time . "


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TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it . Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

BALGOBIN: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"


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BALGOBIN: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

FATHER: No . Why do you ask that?

BALGOBIN: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


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TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!

BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange . I've got another pair just like that at home .



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TEACHER: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?

BALGOBIN: Brotherly love?


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TEACHER: Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?

BALGOBIN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook .


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TEACHER: Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's . Did you copy his?

BALGOBIN: No, teacher, it's the same dog!



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TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

BALGOBIN: A teacher


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Thomas (1820)
170143 2003-08-24 10:16:00 2nd to last :)

Cheers Murray P
Murray P (44)
170144 2003-08-25 09:49:00 There are two Mexicans who have been lost in the desert for weeks and they're at death's door . As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a tree off in the distance . As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon . There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts .





"Hey, Pepe" says the first Mexican, ”ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"





"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe .





So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food . As he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire and he is shot down in a hail of bullets . His friend quickly drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe .





"Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa, hombre?"





With his dying breath Pepe calls out . . . . "Ugh, run, amigo, run, ees not a Bacon Tree ees a ham bush" .



Have great day, Amigos!
Thomas (1820)
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