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Thread ID: 37363	2003-09-05 01:33:00	OT - An interesting joke to cheer everyone up.	somebody (208)	Press F1

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
173112	2003-09-05 01:33:00	It's a cold rainy day where I am at the moment, so I thought this joke might cheer everyone up: [heavy-handed edit by admin] Sorry, but please remember this is an all-ages forum and jokes of an adult nature are not appropriate -- Bruce Buckman [Edited by: admin on Sep 5, 2003 1:29 PM]	somebody (208)
173113	2003-09-05 02:26:00	LMAO :D	Fire-and-Ice (3910)
173114	2003-09-05 03:11:00	hmmm...i dont get it. :D	metla (154)
173115	2003-09-05 03:23:00	Ok. Sorry.	somebody (208)
173116	2003-09-05 03:26:00	Ok . . . Here's another joke which will probably be more appropriate for this forum . My apologies to the anyone who may have been offended by the previous joke I posted . If Your Operating System was an Airline --------------------------------------------------- DOS Airlines Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they all jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again . Then push again, jump on again and so on . MAC Airlines All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers and ticket agents look the same, talk the same, and act the same . Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without you having to know, so just shut up . OS/2 Airlines To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped 10 different times, by standing in 10 different lines . Then you fill out a form showing where you want to sit, and whether it should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus . If you finally succeed in getting on board the plane, and if it succeeds in getting off the ground, you have a wonderful trip . . . . except for the times when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you are assured of plenty of time to say your prayers and get yourself fully prepared before the crash . WINDOWS 3 . 1 Airlines The airport terminal is nice and colorful, with friendly stewards and stewardesses, easy access to the plane and an uneventful takeoff . . . then the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever . WINDOWS NT Airlines We are told that this is one of the safest planes in the air, for as long as it stays there . No-one has actually ever been able to determine how long this is . The plane flies well enough, but it is a bit tedious for passengers who have to rebuild the plane every time they change video channels or the dinner menu . UNIX Airlines Everyone brings one piece of the airplane with them when they come to the airport . Then they all go out onto the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of a plane they are building . WIN 9x Airlines The plane is remarkably similar to the ones used by Win 3 . 1 Airlines and the terminal is even more colorful, except it takes the engines 5 times longer to start turning . Once in the air, the flight is smooth and quite fast, and then the plane blows up for no reason whatsoever - although you are offered a method to stop this from happening, and one day it might actually work . Linux Airlines Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline . They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves . They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself . When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO . html . Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful . You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"	somebody (208)
173117	2003-09-05 03:31:00	Ha Ha.... Aint that the truth!!:D	hamstar (4)
173118	2003-09-05 03:34:00	ahh the joys of Linux, not for everyone though is it? Although I would be worried about people stealing my seat design or my seating position so which license would be suitable for that?	Kame (312)
173119	2003-09-05 03:37:00	I've probably picked on Microsoft enough today . . . but this is another one I found . "Ticket please . . . " --------------------- Three Apple engineers and three Microsoft employees are travelling by train to a conference . At the station, the three Microsoft employees each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple engineers buy only a single ticket . "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?' asks a Microsoft employee . "Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple engineer . They all board the train . The Microsoft employees take their respective seats but all three Apple engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them . Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets . He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please . " The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand . The conductor takes it and moves on . The Microsoft employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea . So after the conference, the Microsoft employees decide to copy the Apple engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that) . When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip . To their astonishment, the Apple engineers don't buy a ticket at all . "How are you going to travel without a ticket says one perplexed Microsoft employee . "Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple engineer . When they board the train the three Apple engineers again cram into a restroom and the three Microsoft employees cram into another one nearby . The train departs . Shortly afterward, one of the Apple engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Microsoft employees are hiding . He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please . . . "	somebody (208)
173120	2003-09-05 05:48:00	Good, except I don't really perceive Apple engineers as being that much smarter than MS ones. Besides, let's face it, both sets of engineers would have flown on the company expense account ...	Biggles (121)
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