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Thread ID: 129006 2013-01-28 20:39:00 Tuesday Laughs...........The 'Monday was a holiday' edition.................. Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
1325392 2013-01-29 20:33:00 All good Billy :D Have some of mine...
***
Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami.
They were discussing the fact that if they go
for a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes,
but if they take the cigarettes with them, they
will get soaked. Then they notice a gorgeous girl
walking out of the ocean. She reaches into the top
of her swimsuit, pulls out a perfectly dry
cigarette and book of matches and lights up. The
ladies go up to the girl and ask, "How do you keep
your cigarettes dry?" Her answer, "I put them inside
of a condom."
The women rush to a pharmacy and ask for a
condom. When the pharmacist asks, "What size?" one of
the ladies says, "It should fit a Camel."
***
Question: What's the penalty for bigamy?
Answer: Two mothers-in-law
***
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other,
"Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to
lose my f***ing arse."
Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away.
Immediately, he apologized for his bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied,
"If I don't sell more arse this month, I'm going to lose my f***ing car."
***
Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the
middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and
grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface.
After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and
water. On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst
and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in
the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an
oil lamp (the kind the genies come in).
They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. "POOF" out popped a tired old
genie who said "ok.. so you freed me from this stupid lamp, yadda,
yadda, yadda. But hey, I've been doing this 3 wishes stuff for a long
time now and quite frankly, I'm burned out. You guys get only ONE
wish and then I'm OUTTA here. Make it a good one". The first guy,
without hesitation or thought blurted out, "Give us all the beer we
can drink for the rest of our lives!!!" "Fine" said the genie, and he
instantly turned the entire ocean into beer.
"Great move Einstein!" said the second guy, slapping the first guy
in the head. "NOW we're gonna have to piss in the BOAT!" 		lordnoddy (3645)
1325393 2013-01-30 22:18:00 Best "Sound of Music" song EVER!

DOUGH... the stuff that buys me beer
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer
ME...... the one who drinks the beer
FAR..... a long run to get beer
SO...... I'll have another beer
LA...... I'll have another beer
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to DOUGH 		lordnoddy (3645)
1325394 2013-01-30 22:21:00 :lol: Gobe1 (6290)
1325395 2013-01-30 22:51:00 Best "Sound of Music" song EVER!

DOUGH... the stuff that buys me beer
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer
ME...... the one who drinks the beer
FAR..... a long run to get beer
SO...... I'll have another beer
LA...... I'll have another beer
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to DOUGH

:lol::lol: 		WalOne (4202)
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